I do have blind rage explosions, I have never ever had them in front of or with a child in the house. I would never excuse this sort of behavior by saying she, an 11 yr old, is selfish.
Id be scared too!
Time builds trust. Being trustworthy over time. I think this is what is meant by the saying 'time heals all wounds'. Time itself doesnt. Time along with better behavior, showing her that you wont go off again, that you still love her, that she can make a mistake and you wont go nuts etc., does.
I tell children that mistakes are ok, and make myself available and approachable for the child to tell me the mistake, as long as they learned something. Therefore when that child makes a mistake, I ask for three things they learned from it. All while being calm.
It is not ok to explode or yell at a child, for any reason. Selfish or not, 11 or not, it is not ok!
