The safety you tried to find as a kid by going along with her helped control your fear of what she would do.
As you break away from her that old fear can re-emerge for you to process now. The great thing now is, you aren't a child anymore.
You can escape her control and don't need to placate her (i.e. call her back, re-engage her) to try to save yourself.
It may not feel great while you are doing it, but each small step you make to stop her control over you is a step in the direction
you want to go for long term peace.
Set your boundaries where you are comfortable and enjoy them!
As you break away from her that old fear can re-emerge for you to process now. The great thing now is, you aren't a child anymore.
You can escape her control and don't need to placate her (i.e. call her back, re-engage her) to try to save yourself.
It may not feel great while you are doing it, but each small step you make to stop her control over you is a step in the direction
you want to go for long term peace.
Set your boundaries where you are comfortable and enjoy them!