I
Imodo
I think my crush kind of ended things with me this week. I had pursued him for 4 months, hoping to get to know him better. He made it VERY clear he wanted an fwb type situation, and I was ok with that since I am in the process of getting divorced and in no position to get serious with anyone at the moment. Truth is, I was instantly VERY attracted to him, and he was (of course) very sweet the first night we met. He is a combat vet, which I think made me want to be connected to him. I have always respected and admired military men, as I am the daughter of an Air Force Vet (Vietnam). I have had friends and an ex bf in the military as well so over the years I have picked up a bit of info, likely more than most women bc I am interested in history, military traditions, etc. Well he really was pleasantly surprised with my knowledge of things and I think he viewed me as more than just a hook up. We also were able to talk about some mutual interests we had. I've never had this happen before, but I started obsessing about this guy...thinking about him all the time, ignoring texts from other guys so I could focus on his. I hate to say this, but I NEVER felt these "butterflies" with my ex husband, lol.
Unfortunately, I only saw this guy 6 times in 4 months. The first time was nice, but then most of the other times he was cold, demanding and detached. He refused to kiss me on the lips most of the time, and would turn his cheek when we would part. That hurt. He blew me off repeatedly when I would try to make plans with him by not responding to texts, not committing, etc. I wasn't trying to date him, I just wanted to get to know him and make out with him, lol. The few times we did see each other, he would make sure we had limited time (like an hour) and it was always spur of the moment. Due to the lack of kissing, and lack of effort to help me "enjoy" things, I really felt like crap. He got his but I never got anything in return, so the fwb thing was not mutually beneficial, lol. However, after hooking up, he usually became very calm and would start telling me about his concerns, things that were bothering him, etc so he would open up a bit.
One night he really, really opened up. He seemed different one day a few weeks ago and we were texting and out of the blue he tells me he is trying to kill himself. I immediately told him I was coming to see him but he told me not to. He said "it would pass". We talked on the phone briefly. I was so worried about him. I texted his cousin a few days later and told him what happened. I was hoping his family would intervene, if they hadn't already. I told the cousin not to mention me, however a few hours later I got an angry text from my crush. He was mad that I told his cousin. He kept saying "Im fine". I told him I was sorry, but that it would have been very irresponsible of me to not do anything. He stopped talking to me for a week or so but then we resumed texting.
I felt things were not the same after that. Not that things were great to begin with, but he seemed to be less interested. I kept trying to meet up with him and he continued stalling and avoiding. One day he texted something that upset me and I called him and left a message saying I was coming to see him. He did not like that I stopped by unexpectedly, however he did let me in (but insisted I give him oral sex). Again he refused to kiss me. I complained saying "what about me?" And he just blew it off. I was kind of fed up by that point bc I realized that was like the 4th time he did that. He basically stopped responding to my texts after that and I saw his profile was back up on the dating site that connected us. I sent him one last text saying I think I know why he pushed me away and I said sorry that he was going through it. I left the door open in case he felt comfortable talking to me again. He responded..."K".
So between the lack of kissing, excessive avoidance, coldness, suicidal thoughts, and now no contact...is it possible this guy has PTSD? Was there, or is there anything more I can do to help him? I have maintained "no contact" and I don't plan to resume it unless he contacts me first.
Unfortunately, I only saw this guy 6 times in 4 months. The first time was nice, but then most of the other times he was cold, demanding and detached. He refused to kiss me on the lips most of the time, and would turn his cheek when we would part. That hurt. He blew me off repeatedly when I would try to make plans with him by not responding to texts, not committing, etc. I wasn't trying to date him, I just wanted to get to know him and make out with him, lol. The few times we did see each other, he would make sure we had limited time (like an hour) and it was always spur of the moment. Due to the lack of kissing, and lack of effort to help me "enjoy" things, I really felt like crap. He got his but I never got anything in return, so the fwb thing was not mutually beneficial, lol. However, after hooking up, he usually became very calm and would start telling me about his concerns, things that were bothering him, etc so he would open up a bit.
One night he really, really opened up. He seemed different one day a few weeks ago and we were texting and out of the blue he tells me he is trying to kill himself. I immediately told him I was coming to see him but he told me not to. He said "it would pass". We talked on the phone briefly. I was so worried about him. I texted his cousin a few days later and told him what happened. I was hoping his family would intervene, if they hadn't already. I told the cousin not to mention me, however a few hours later I got an angry text from my crush. He was mad that I told his cousin. He kept saying "Im fine". I told him I was sorry, but that it would have been very irresponsible of me to not do anything. He stopped talking to me for a week or so but then we resumed texting.
I felt things were not the same after that. Not that things were great to begin with, but he seemed to be less interested. I kept trying to meet up with him and he continued stalling and avoiding. One day he texted something that upset me and I called him and left a message saying I was coming to see him. He did not like that I stopped by unexpectedly, however he did let me in (but insisted I give him oral sex). Again he refused to kiss me. I complained saying "what about me?" And he just blew it off. I was kind of fed up by that point bc I realized that was like the 4th time he did that. He basically stopped responding to my texts after that and I saw his profile was back up on the dating site that connected us. I sent him one last text saying I think I know why he pushed me away and I said sorry that he was going through it. I left the door open in case he felt comfortable talking to me again. He responded..."K".
So between the lack of kissing, excessive avoidance, coldness, suicidal thoughts, and now no contact...is it possible this guy has PTSD? Was there, or is there anything more I can do to help him? I have maintained "no contact" and I don't plan to resume it unless he contacts me first.
