Did My Therapist Mishandle My Flashback?

[SeaQuel]

He says that as I start coming back down out of it, there are times that his presence triggers me back into it so he sometimes leaves and stands outside to allow me to come back out and just checks on me.

He's admitted that he doesn't know what to do for me other than let me ride it out and try to let me know he's there.

I think this is what I would prefer. It really just feels like she's breaking in on a process that needs to happen. I think maybe she's too scared to let it ride out or something, but come to think of it she did try this once and I was in pretty rough shape when she came back in the room.

I think your therapist is very perceptive to realize his presence could be triggering to you.

 

[desiderata310]

He and I have had our frustrations and misunderstandings. But we can read eachother like a book which is good and bad for both of us.

Yes, my therapist is kind of a bad ass sometimes.

 

[joeylittle]

Mine stays in his chair, which is a decent distance away, maybe 5 feet, and just keeps asking me to come back to the room, interspersed with reminding me what year it is, who he is, where I am, and that I'm safe. I don't think he raises his voice at all. He does take on this different tone, a sort of very clear, regular way of speaking. I can usually just hear him starting, and then whenever it is later, I hear him again, kind of echoey, and I can mostly see the office again but can't move much or speak. When I've gotten to that point he'll also start coaching my breathing.

I think your therapist is maybe trying to speak clearly and a bit loudly, but it's coming off to you as harshness. It's definitely worth a conversation, @DancingBull. Sometimes I'm frustrated when therapy needs to be about 'talking about therapy', but it always helps in the long run.

 

[Sandstone]

I wonder if there is some sort of standard guidance besides "do your best to make sure the client doesn't harm themselves or you". I mean, honestly there's not a whole lot to be done that's going to be reliably helpful.

I had assumed that there must be a standard approach to this, and was feeling frustrated that my T apparently didn't know it. Thanks for showing me it's more complicated than that.

Responding to @DancingBull s original post - do you think you were carrying the carrying the feelings of being threatened or harshly treated out of the flashback and its aftermath and into your therapists actions?

 

[Friday]

While interviewing therapists this fall I kicked into flashbacks with a few of them. Dang intake appointments running through the cliff notes of 'Why I'm here'. Unless I've got some chemical distance or am doing well (and I had neither), that will do it, every time.

One just let me ride it. Correction. He started asking for sensory details that pushed me further into it. Ugh. Double ugh. Hello something like 4 hours later! Oh f*ck no. We're not doing this.

Others? Shrug. It wasn't bad. No one got hurt. My standards in this area are pretty low. Deliberately keeping me zoned, though? Hell no. I wonder if/what protocols actually are?

 

[SeaQuel]

do you think you were carrying the carrying the feelings of being threatened or harshly treated out of the flashback and its aftermath and into your therapists actions?

Yes, I think that's possible. I think @joeylittle is probably right that she was trying to be clear/firm and loud, but it was her tone and her actions that felt different to me this time. I've never felt threatened by her the way I did when this happened. I don't know, the more I think about it, I think it was a combination of things. I hope she doesn't just blame it on the crazy. It would be too easy to do that.

 

[SeaQuel]

just keeps asking me to come back to the room, interspersed with reminding me what year it is, who he is, where I am, and that I'm safe. I don't think he raises his voice at all. He does take on this different tone, a sort of very clear, regular way of speaking.

This is exactly what she used to do. Now she forces me to keep my eyes open and to move different parts of my body. I think Ive maxed her tolerance and now she just yells. I don't blame her but it hurts.

 

[Sandstone]

I hope she doesn't just blame it on the crazy. It would be too easy to do that.

I think Ive maxed her tolerance and now she just yells.

You don't KNOW what she thinks - but you are inclined to believe it is harsh and judgemental. I don't expect most therapists think like that.

 

[anonymous]

I'd be wary of turning this into a generalisation of her approach to you. You started off the thread saying...

My therapist started to yell at me to come back into the room, or at least it seemed that she was yelling. She was speaking very loudly and very forcefully,

she tried different things to bring me out of it.

So, she might have yelled, but you weren't completely sure and she was trying different things to help you. And you have moved to this...

now she just yells.

I know it's hard when we have so much time between sessions to analyse and pick it apart, but i think I would try and leave projecting what you think was going on with her until you've had a chance to actually talk it over with her. You seem to be moving towards convincing yourself of her motives and feelings about you, without her having an opportunity to say how it was from her perspective.

 

[joeylittle]

I think Ive maxed her tolerance and now she just yells. I don't blame her but it hurts.

Or, she's just responding more aggressively to the problem, not to you - but it hits you as though she is frustrated and you've maxxed her out. I think maybe the real conversation here is your concern that she is "done" with you? And specifically, how you perceive that as manifesting in her response to your flashback recently.

She may be struggling - but even if she is, it's not with you, it's with your symptoms. Separating ourselves from our symptoms is really hard, but if you can try and think of it that way, it might also help you frame it differently.

Are you going to be able to talk this through with her?

 

[anonymous]

Are you were sure that you were having a flashback if you were completely aware of your surroundings and what your therapist was doing?

Are you sure you know what a flashback is? None of my flashbacks involve not knowing what is around me or what the people around me are doing. Just saying.

 

[SeaQuel]

I'm really trying but can't seem to make sense of your post @joeylittle. I don't understand the difference. Either she was aggressive or she wasn't. Whether it was to me or to "my symptoms" is irrelevant IMO. The irony is she thought she was keeping me safe by keeping me there, but in reality she was the unsafe person for me.

Sorry I'm a bit scattered right now from mother's day card shopping (vomit). I'll try to reread this later.