General Did The Abuser Have PTSD?

[ISupportHer]

I've thought of so many things over the past few weeks. Much as a result of what I've read and discovered here.

I do know that one of my wife's abusers had traumatic WWII experiences. Piloted a landing craft. He would NEVER talk of his military experience but I'd heard from others that he saw a lot of carnage and at some time came to feel he was delivering soldiers to their deaths.

This, in no way, excuses behavior but I do know that PTSD is taken more seriously now.

I'm new and this may have been an older topic but I found it thought provoking and wondered what those of you who are more "seasoned" felt about this. I am aware that many abusers were, in fact, victims of abuse but wondered about the PTSD connection.

 

[Marlene]

Funny...this topic was going through my mind recently. I know that my father grew up with an abusive father and step-mother and had a mother who abandoned him for her second husband and second family. I don't know much about my mother's past...she still won't talk about it. But I've always felt she was abused by her actions and attitudes. I don't know if there's a PTSD connection, but the abuse was passed down.

That said, I agree with you that that's no excuse. I grew up in an abusive home and chose not to pass that little family gift down to my daughters. In my mind this proves the theory that it's a choice to abuse or not. PTSD is not a license to do whatever without consequences. Too many people have blamed their past for their actions. It's just bull. A choice is still a choice with or without abuse or mental illness.

Lisa

 

[dust]

Yes, there is probably 3 generations of PTSD on one side of my family (haven't even begun to look at the other.)

It is no excuse though... I chose not to have children as I thought that all childhoods would be like mine. Now I know that is not the case I am probably too old to have them... so I guess I am the end of the PTSD line.

Good observation,

dust

 

[ISupportHer]

As far as the abuser passing it on, I see it as nature vs. nurture question in some ways. Funny that we have pictures on our wall from our childhoods that make our upbringing seem similar. But now I realize how terribly different it was. Even though there was no passing on of physical abuse, I have come to see how emotionally effected it has been for my family.

Anyway, former abuse not as an excuse for abuse but perhaps an explaination for some of what causes someone's abnormal behavior.

 

[Nicolette]

PTSD involves Anxiety. A pre-disposition to anxiety can be hereditary. Anxiety itself is not hereditary, however, the physical or psychological markers may exist as a result of genetic factors which predispose a person to developing an anxiety condition. We can certainly inherit an anxious nature or develop an anxious disposition as a result of living in close proximity to someone with anxious behaviour.

From the little I understand I suggest that out of control anxiety can lead to abuse but there is also the "monkey see monkey do" aspect.

 

[ISupportHer]

Nicolette,

I agree with what you say. Maybe "monster see, monster do" instead of monkey. :smile:

I was just kind of curious about others' experiences as I thought of this possible "connection" in my wife's case. Abuse, and PTSD as a result, is such an under-recognized problem. I feel, anyway.

It's not that I necessarily feel there is some genetic excuse (or any excuse). Kind of like if you were spanked as a child, that is your "model" as a parent, I suspect.

And maybe rapists are somehow more apt to abuse because of their psychological makeup, which is impacted so greatly by their upbringing. Kind of "nature vs NO nurture"?

 

[2quilt]

I dont think mentally healthier people (without mental illnesses) harm others the way people with PTSD can do. All humans have baggage, but not all have PTSD

 

[Ursa]

My therapist told me the other day that my main perpetrator is a Sociopath. I decided to check out the profile of a Sociopath through google and the profile really looked like someone talking about my father as if knowing him.

Some days later I started to check out the rest of my extended family and I can really tell that he is not alone... he has at least 2 siblings and 2 nephews that are also Sociopaths. I actually witnessed one of this cousins sexually abusing another cousin about 20 years ago...

Really, I don't think that PTSD alone or together with sexual trauma can explain abuse, but I am afraid that sociopathy is somehow genetic. There are so many of them in my family that it is realy scary to think of having children.

 

[becvan]

I think the whole abuser's had PTSD is a load of crock and a sad excuse. How many people are on here with PTSD and how many of them are abusers? Very very little. I'd hazard a guess that it is less than 1%. But the majority are people who have PTSD from abuse. PTSD will never explain nor excuse abusive behavior.

Also on a side note, I do not agree that those with no mental illness are more mentally healthy. Maybe if you compared them to those who have never reached out for help. Those of us working hard on ourselves and healing are a THOUSAND times mentally healthier than the average population. We know what is wrong with us, we work on ourselves, we explore ourselves, we learn healthy coping strategies, healthy life skills and have or try to have healthy lifestyles. Very few of the average population can say that.

bec

 

[TLight]

My Father was a cop and a msyoginist(sp) during the 50s. He'd had a horrible childhood and from all the violence, outbursts, beatings, rages........he probably had untreated PTSD.

But, like Bec says, poor excuse. No excuse in my book. I'm irritable as hell and the dog pisses me off..........but I've never uncontrollably hit her or abused her. Never.

So mental illness doesn't equate with lack of control or responsibility for me either. If I can control and people around me think I'm one of the most gentle, generous, compassionate people they know..........if only they were on the inside.....I feel like a beast that is going to explode sometimes............
Contributes to the shame........