Poll Did You Ever Report Physical Abuse?

[Mafia_Science]

I didn't because I was afraid nobody would believe me, since she would just deny it. I was afraid people would view me as weak. I was afraid she would hurt me again if she found out I told, and then send me into foster care.

If you didn't report, why not? If you did report, what happened as a result?

 

[Ellabella44]

I thought that it was normal family stuff. up until it stopped when school saw my bruised knuckles in 7th grade. school called and had someone talk to them then.

 

[Tinyflame]

Nope, never. Would deny it to this day (eg Dr- long term damage questions.) Embarassment, it won't help, consequences, the past, just interested it stopped, minimization, (great) fear, threats. Felt like "I can't believe this is happening", sometimes. Assuming it's my fault.

Only reported stalkers (eventually), or when threatened with fear of others' deaths (had to).

 

[WillyKat]

Yes, I did, after 30 years. The SOB is still alive and happens to live in a state where the State Police operate an anonymous database. I wrote up a report and mailed it to the captain in charge. What are the odds that this captain and the office he runs happened to be in the same tiny town where the SOB lived at the time?

Anyway, the captain called me back, said that his records search turned up nothing (which didn't surprise me), but said that he "would ask around with the locals" (meaning city cops, again, where said SOB lived). I could not have hoped for much better.

Background: I had dissociative amnesia of this from age 6-21, then it took me another 15 years to finally do something.

 

[mamachick]

Childrens services removed me when I was 11 and I had to testify on the stand. I dont know that I talked about physical abuse specifically, but I did claim that she was an alcoholic and kept me awake all night and all the verbal stuff she said (that no 11 yr old should know). They placed me in a Catholic orphanage. A couple yrs later, I went to live with older sister. Never complained about anything.

 

[Suzetig]

No, there was no point. People in my life knew how violent my parents were (family friends, church people, pastor etc) and never did anything to help so I had no expectation anyone else would. I also had been threatened that I'd be taken away because I was such a nasty child and I didn't want anyone else to see how awful I was.

 

[TinkerG]

I did not report until I left. I didn't because it would not do any good. He attacked me in public or private - in front of others and if anyone tried to interfere he would attack them, so it didn't matter. When I ran away to the shelter, we reported to the police and it did no good - he isn't a citizen of the U.S. and they could do nothing other than deport him and he is too wealthy for that to ever happen.

 

[sedna]

Uhg. This brought back some horrible memories. I did at the point I felt he was going to kill me or kidnap the kids and take them to Asia somewhere, which he'd been threatening. I was taken seriously at the police station, I had gone to my GP first, who I knew believed me. She said she'd been suspicious about the injuries I was always claiming were from outdoor hobbies. When he was questioned, he managed to convince the police that I was actually physically abusive to him and the examples he gave were exact descriptions of things he'd done to me with the roles reversed. He also had told them that my mom was institutionalized because she's crazy and he had feared I inherited her insanity, and was worried about our children.

This was a wealthy guy, with a perfect accent. There was no way for me to pursue it without risking retaliation that was worse than physical. I think he would have had me institutionalized and put our kids in boarding school. I had heard of another American in similar circumstances to mine ending up that way, so I just dropped it.

 

[goingonhope]

No, I didn't report these abuses.

The childhood/adolescent physical abuse, abuses and neglect was too psychologically disempowering and emotionally damaging to know how, with whom, where or when to do so. I'd suffer the abuse or neglect when it was occurring and following there were these internal and extreme feelings of powerlessness and demoralization of self, as I couldn't escape and I didn't know, nor could trust anybody to successfully help me more than they would additionally hurt or injure me.

More often than not, I was overly concerned that reporting anything was to great of a burden to whomever, I might occasionally consider reporting to. Cops were out because I believed that they too easily could be manipulated and misled by one of the abusers, or worse a combo. of them.

Later, at one point and for a good number of years thereafter, I actually no longer considered that I even had the right to report abuse. I unconsciously would just not respond or think of reporting, and while under a belief that I had no rights.

In too many experiences to count, I've emotionally and physically re-experienced these emotions, both with visual fixed memories and other times disconnected and without. At these times - these experiences are attached to, all very convincing and persuasive beliefs that no-one or anything will again ever cease battering, firing and oppressing.

There are those then nasty and depressing beliefs and spells which have often been triggered by present day realities that cause me to become stuck in feeling sheer fear. Terrified that much, all of which is outside of my control, will continue and that nothing (not myself or anything) will successfully ever interrupt, nor create change which can allow for steady feelings of safety, escape and emotional well-being.

I chose no I did not report physical abuse even though I was abused.

 

[physicist13]

I reported as a minor. Since I was a minor I ended up having 0 control over the situation and the process was hellish. I'm not sure if I regret it, but it is certainly not something I would recommend... it doesn't actually help, the only good thing that came from it was I don't have to wonder what would happen if I reported (I was always wondering what would happen before I reported)-- once I did the uncertainty was gone, which long term might be good but 1.5 years after the fact, it has not been worth it

 

[SnowyLeopard]

No. I thought it was my fault the entire time, and didn't realize I should've gotten help until I got into therapy, realizing the truth I had tried so hard to deny.

 

[SophiaWisdom]

I reported two times and both times I was told nothing could be done. The first time the woman on the phone told me I couldn't do anything b/c I'm a minor and it's just cultural and I have to wait to leave the house (so I left after 3 yeras of high school). The second time the suburban cops put me down and took my father's side.