Poll Did You Report

[Whyteferret]

@Whyteferret Yup. The CoC ones were the worst. Not physically, but just in the level of f*cked uped ness. It's like greeeeeaaaaat. Disobey a direct order on the one hand, rape on the other? Outstanding.

I still love the Marine Corps. Heart & Soul. Hurts like a bitch sometimes, tho.

I'm only open about being a vet here. IRL, outside of my family, almost no one knows.

I really hate the Marines. When I think about it, all I have is a sense of shame, betrayal, anger, and guilt.

I had the Marine Hymn stuck in my head today. "First to fight for right..." Bullshit. "And to keep our honor clean"....
Unless it's a WM and sexual assault, there's right and honor.

People know I medically retired Army. Very few know I was a Marine first. Two of them are therapists.

The service stuff, no.
Because it was helluva common. Because bitching about it would've made everything more difficult. Because complaints would have made my transfers impossible.

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Because retaliation and coverup in the CoC is a way of life. Roger that. I tried to get my immediate section officer to get him to stop sexually harassing me. I ened up in the COs office, along with the Gunny who would assault me, three SNCOs, and basically threatened with Article 15 if I didn't stop "lying" and trying to "ruin his career." I then ended up with extra duty (not punitive- right) for the rest of the month. I went no further up the CoC when he assaulted me a month later, I kept my mouth shut.

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Later in life it was still suck it up, something to get through. I was more aware how to report & where, but not persuaded it would lead anywhere, so didn't bother.

The outside of combat zones stuff, yes. Led to f*ck all proceedings and outright undermined my getting official help, so I stopped bothering.
Civvie shit, I get through with Could be worse and having a hard time enough with the f*ckery, let alone involve useless courts.

I generally tend to report for others / if others are involved.
My own shit, or for me? I don't bother.
Others I'm with / that were there with me? Hellfire on you if you touch them, mindset.

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It's funny how we stand up for others and not ourselves.

 

[Whyteferret]

My csa - not a chance. My dad is a good person, who screwed up a long time ago. He now works i...

It's similar over here in terms of people actually being convicted of anything.

In the military, it's vastly under reported. And there's a less than 5% chance of any time done in confinement. Or an actual guilty finding of rape.

Too many times, it's a reduction of rank. Maybe OTH discharge. Or nothing at all.

It's hard enough to report. But, having to fight the system (legal or military) is another victimization.

 

[Ronin]

It's funny how we stand up for others and not ourselves.

I view this differently (with respect to you & that trace of thought, of course):

In standing up for others? I am standing up for myself.
Just not in a way that centers the attention on me. (I have issues with that / genuinely don't want attention.)

 

[Whyteferret]

I view this differently (with respect to you & that trace of thought, of course):

In standing up for oth...

Good point. I was seeing it more linear that that.
:)

 

[Ronin]

I was seeing it more linear

Yeah I know, and I love linear thinkers, because if there's one thing I can't do for jack it's linear thinking, so it helps. :)

 

[Whyteferret]

Yeah I know, and I love linear thinkers, because if there's one thing I can't do for jack it's linear thi...

@Cashew
How I think now after the brain injury has been one of the most frustrating changes. That and communication, especially speaking. I do much, much better writing. I have time to think and it uses a different part of the brain.
Linear thinking is one of the changes.

Thanks for making me smile. Maybe it's not such a bad thing.

 

[Kailani]

Yup I reported one attempted rape but not others. I say fight; works for me every time; with your brain, strength or prayer. Scum went to jail for 9 years. Hopefully it helped other women or even girls. Csa is a different story.

 

[Whyteferret]

Yup I reported one attempted rape but not others. I say fight; works for me every time; with your brai...

@Kailani
The statute of limitations passed years ago in my case.
I did what I thought I had to do to survive. I feel guilty. They don't stop. They keep going until they are caught. I hope someone had more guts than I did.

 

[Crow]

Reported to my mother who ignored me

 

[Lionheart]

I reported sexual child abuse to a police detective at the time it was going on and was told that they were "mighty strong allegations to make without proof" and so I abandoned hope at that time.

Many years later, I went back to the local police precinct and thought to file charges but the most he was going to get was as slap on the wrist and I decided that it wasn't worth it to me...

I told the police his name and they found his whereabouts and I told them to do with the information whatever they needed to protect other children. I may still yet file a complaint against him and let him take his "slap on the wrist."

 

[Suzetig]

Grooming really messes with your head.

It does indeed, I too was 15 and it went on for four years, during which time my dad nearly beat me to death for "seducing a married man". So no, I didn't report because there was no point. I still struggle to put responsibility where it belongs and accept it as abusive.

There were other bits of csa when I was much younger and I didn't report because it was my siblings and I just couldn't. We were all a product of our upbringing really and csa was just another part of it.

 

[Ronin]

Scum went to jail for 9 years.

That's awesome news, and well done. :)