Difficult therapy session

[Kopykat]

Just got back from a really difficult therapy session not too long ago. I've been with the same therapist for 5 years now. I've had my ups and downs with depression and I am in another down swing where I am hit w suicidal ideas, hopelessness and all that jazz. Just mentally feel like trash. She says that I need more intensive treatment at this point bc what she offers as an outpatient therapist just isn't working for what I'm going through. I see her point. I just am terrified. I logistically cannot make things work out to do group therapy or a program where you go every day. I've never tried EMDR and I am scared to. Most psych meds don't work for me, though I do have an appt w a new psychiatrist in a few weeks. I feel backed into a corner, I know I have a complex history and trauma and I have no idea why I'm so terrified of everything. Like I'd rather run away or die than go into a hospital. I partially blame my parents for that but whatever. I guess I feel frozen again w fear, I know I have to do something bc what I'm doing isn't working , just stuck.

 

[trying to heal]

Is it possible for you to go to a hospital especially for ptsd. I'm not sure what it is called over in USA but I'm sure one of the regulars would be able to help.

 

[Rose White]

Intensive outpatient services is something you can go to daily, but you don't have to sleep there.

 

[Kopykat]

I'm going to call some psychiatrists tomorrow to see about getting a sooner appointment and see about genetic testing for psychiatric meds. Thank you both for responding and for this website in general, helps to not feel so alone.