Do My Nightmares Imply I Was Abused?

[Slwzzr]

Over the past few months, I've had a similar dream about 3/4 times, and it's worrying me as to whether it's symbolic of something that happened to me. The dream is that an old man, slightly chubby, with white hair and a slight beard, tries to sexually abuse me. The first one I had, it was in my town centre in a tent, my family walked past before it happened and then I went inside this tent (then turned into a caravan) and I was with my little brother, watching this old man sexually assault him, but at the same time that I watched it, it was like it was happening to me and I couldn't stop it.
The similar dreams after that have not involved my brothers (I assume the first one is at a time when I was protective of my brothers as they're very young), but they have been me being chased and abused when I'm young.
Every time the old man is the exact same, but the scene can be different.
I have no recollection of being sexually abused when I was younger, but for some reason I have always had bad feelings and worries and thoughts that I had been, even though there has been nothing to suggest that.
Can somebody please give me advice on what I could do or what this may mean?

 

[Kintsugi]

Hi, Slwzzr. A dream does not mean you were abused, just as I have dreams of being murdered, and no one has ever actually made an attempt on my life.

Perhaps something is bothering you, and you could seek professional help for your sleep troubles if they persist and interfere with your daily functioning and well being.

 

[Deleted member 19804]

Hi Slwzzr, welcome to the forum.

I can imagine those dreams can be very upsetting and I think it's a good thing you're talking about them here.

To put it bluntly, no, I do not think those dreams mean you were sexually abused. And I am basing that on that your dreams are the only source that suggests so, am I right? Look, in the 1990s there have been a lot of cases where people, because of a bad psychologist who asked them many suggestive questions, created false memories of abuse. Although those people genuinely believed they were abused by someone and could tell a very detailed story about that, it often turned out that those memories couldn't possibly be true. And I am telling you this because even the smartest, kindest people can get completely obsessed with this and end up unintentionally hurting others as well as themselves.

If those dreams represented a real memory, you would probably actually remember something because of them. You'd feel like you've just retrieved a horrible part of your past. Seeing as you are solely basing your theory on the dreams, I think it is highly unlikely that you were sexually abused.

Were you traumatised at a time that you are sure happened? Are there any unexplainably long gaps between memories of a certain period of time? If you can answer one or both of these with 'yes' it would be good for you to talk to a professional just in case. Don't get too hung up on the idea, though! Again, I think it is highly unlikely you were abused.

All that said, if these dreams keep occurring and upsetting you, maybe it would be good for you to talk to a psychologist. Even if you weren't sexually abused, you still deserve to get help when you need it. There is no shame in that.

:hug:

 

[WillyKat]

As @Simply Simon said, it may be a dream based on some fears you have. Maybe you've sensed something and its showing up in dreams. The answer is to get the advice of a professional.

To @Snowwhite's point, yes there are some cases where mental health workers unintentionally planted ideas in client's heads. A word of caution though, there are plenty of documented cases of dissociative amnesia (formerly called repressed memory). In my case, I recovered the memories years before I ever saw a shrink. This issue was a big controversy in the 90s. Some people claimed that dissociative amnesia wasn't possible but that's been debunked.

Have you been diagnosed with PTSD? If not, that's another reason to go see a professional.

 

[Deleted member 20280]

@Slwzzr primarily welcome to the forum. I was most definitely abused sexually as a child repeatedly for many years. I do not dream of that abuse in any form at all unless I am in therapy sessions.

As @Simply Simon said, the dream in itself is not indicative of Abuse.

Sending :hug:s from Devon if you accept them.

Laurie

 

[Melody coates]

I've had nightmares about being shot at but I've never been in real life.