Do other people feel like i do?

[Deleted member 45408]

if people have read my other posts u will know what I'm talking about...I doubt many other people feel like I do..that they cant look how they want and if they do they will b taken to court...so depressed..y cant I b another person...y do I have to think like this or b me...how can I b happy when I feel like I'm going to get in trouble..i don't want to b me

 

[Esterio]

Hi ab1995
I went and looked for your other posts but didn't find any. I am not good a searching. so It is hard for me to respond. seems like you don't want to be the sad you or depressed you, you want to be the happy you. I hope you find what you are looking for.

Peace be safe

 

[joeylittle]

y do I have to think like this

You don't. And you said, you are capable of not believing the thoughts about court maybe 50% of the time. There's a DBT concept called 'turning the mind', and it's a nice phrase for shifting your thoughts away from the negative ruminations that cause you to suffer, and towards the more neutral or balanced thoughts that might not give you relief, but they also don't cause suffering.

The thoughts are what lead to the feelings. You can exercise control over the thoughts. If you practice it enough, eventually, the thoughts will change. The underlying beliefs - like yours, that you will never be free - that's bigger and harder to shift just through cognitive work, it's where trauma processing comes into play. But the top-level thought: I'll be taken to court and lose my agency if I try and lose 10 pounds responsibly - that thought is the sort of thing that you can manage.

It's tiring and tedious, I know. It's also easy to get angry about having to do this kind of mental management in the first place. All sorts of barriers come up - I really do understand, and no, you're not alone in being frustrated with yourself and just wanting it to stop. It's hard work, managing thoughts.

What do you do for distraction? Does anything give you temporary relief, let you feel a little better about things for just a bit?

 

[Friday]

I doubt many other people feel like I do..that they cant look how they want and if they do they will b taken to court.

If you move it back a step? I think you’ll find most people with PTSD have felt the way you do.

By move back a step?

If I wear a pretty dress, I’ll be raped.
If I get in the car, I’ll die.
If I speak up, I’ll be beaten.
If I’m not prepared, people will die.
If I look how I want, I’ll get in trouble.

If THIS? Then THAT.

It’s the totally normal, natural, logical way the brain works. If I touch a hot burner? I’ll get burned. But? The connections the brain form in trauma are bizarre / don’t work in real life. It still / we still BELIEVE the connection. And have to work on breaking them. Because they aren’t real. I can wear a pretty dress and not get raped. I can drive to the store and return home, safe. I can speak up, and be agreed/disagrees with but no further. I can be completely unprepared, and everything is fine. I can look how I want, and not get in trouble.

It is a rock solid pain in the ass to BREAK the connection / challenge the thought, change the belief & reaction. But it’s completely doable.