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Do you ever get a sense of impending doom?

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This is extremely common for those with CPTSD I’ve also had it pretty much lifelong to this day. I’m in my 60s no...

THanks, I needed a good laugh. Yes, I would likely have been the one to warn us even if it had just been a colony of ants!LOL...
 
I think I know exactly what you are talking about @SpiritSong and it's one of my more confusing symptoms. When it happens, there is no trigger at all. At least a few of the most memorable times that it has happened, I've just been laying in bed listening to music. It's like I've suddenly been hit with a wave of bad feelings. It's mostly terror but there might be a tinge of sadness or maybe a smaller wave of sadness will come in once the feeling of terror starts to pass. Without thinking about it, I used to look for a reason to explain it because it seemed like an emotion that strong had to have a thought behind it. After talking about it with a therepist, I started to think that reaction might actually make it last longer because then I'm adding to it by thinking about a bunch of things that I'm afraid of.
 
I have been having that sense for days now, again my world may be falling apart again, possibly having to end up homeless AGAIN. Tired of this.
 
I could never go to a shelter under any conditions, having been brutally gang-raped in one.[...
Oh! I am so very sorry that happened to you. How awful!!! When I was homeless, I lived in my car for awhile. Do you have a vehicle? Or a tent to sleep in? Also, when I was homeless, churches helped me out a lot. They will fill your gas tank for you, give you a bag of groceries, or help you out in so many ways. I wish you the best no matter what. I lived homeless for 3 years. It was one of the toughest times of my life. None the less, I learned a lot during that time. Thousands of folks gave me money too, to help me out. There is a lot of good in the world, just as there is evil. I pray you find the good in whatever happens to you.
 
It's an odd problem for me, I am on disability, but its not enough to pay for rent anywhere, I could only do it with a subsidy, and waiting lists exist on those programs where they exist, and the most destitute come first. So I would remain always at the end of the line as there will always be more destitute people.

If this happens, living in my car is all I can do, but that won't last, because that kind of life is not conducive when it comes to med compliance. Being Bi-polar with mixed features (I cycle fast, sometimes in an hour) it probably would not be long before I was either manic or very depressed. I suspect I could lose my car in the process so no car to sleep in.

Right now I am working with mobile crisis to get thru this. It is more than i can cope with without help.

Need to get this thread back on track, it was not about me or my situation when it started, I wish the thread to continue as it was.
 
The impending doom has intensified since I started to properly recover from the abuse. Somehow I find myself on a spinning ball of rock in radioactive space circling in towards an incomprehensible huge ball of nuclear fusion admits a big old gang of asteroids some capable of wiping out humanity and the seeming status quo is just to be okay with this accept it and carry on with life. I have just accepted being tortured. Looked past it for somewhere safe only to learn that according to the facts nowhere is. Why can't I be as calm about this as everyone else seems to be ?
 
I have pretty much always had this sense of impending doom, as well. It's not constant, but I will have entire days every so often where I can't shake the feeling that *something* bad is going to happen. I'm not sure exactly where it comes from for me. If I look back into my childhood, the first time I can remember feeling that sense of doom is in a recurring nightmare I had throughout my childhood. It is now present in my adult life on seemingly random occasions where it just sticks around for a while, and it is as if I am constantly trying to shake it off or push it away when it shows up.
 
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