Do You Feel Alone in This World?

[spiritofnow]

Do you think that some day we will feel part of this again?

Hey Cindy!

I can totally relate to what you are saying. I used to call it, 'non-belonging'! Seeing other people with their loved ones and making plans made me feel like I did not belong anywhere. I guess this perhaps especially apllies to PTSD sufferes as sometimes the trauma that is caused, is by those closest to us. So we are estranged from our families. Or they are not supportive of our condtion. Hence magnifying our illusion of not belonging.

However, I have come to the realisation that PTSD is a major part of this feeling; one aspect of PTSD is shutting yourself out from the world, not sustaining relatiosnships or friendships because of feeling unsure of how to feel and behave.

So in answer to your question, yes I do beleive that you/we will have that belonging feeling one day, gradually! As we face our fears and deal with our trauma we won't enable the self-fulfilling prophecy to continue. We will no longer impose the 'maximum security boundaries' that we have dysfunctionally placed around us in order to feel safe.

Perhaps we do already belong but are just not aware of it - we are all connected in some way aren't we? As Shoshin suggests we do not really operate in the world alone, we just perceive it this way.

I remember saying to my ex once, 'I need to do this alone, you can't climb in my head and fix things for me'! However, I could of shared what was in my head!?

I long for the day when I can be in a relationship where I know that I can bulid on it in terms of having a future. A soul mate to travel this earthly plane with. To experience life with them and through them. To bake a cake and have them enjoy it knowing that is was made with love (the simple things). We will have that belonging feeling we just need to tap into it - i know it is not easy but we just have to!

My thoughts are with you Cindy and I hope you realise that just by being on here you are not alone!

Spirit x

 

[TLight]

Monk

I used to work as a checker in a grocery store in a 'community' in Seattle. Everyone would come through my line around holidays and ask, "What are you doing Terri?" I'd make up stories so I wouldn't look like a freak, or so they wouldn't feel sorry for me and invite me over. I wouldn't have been able to take that at that time, I was just struggling to hang on to reality and my boss was stalking me.

Anyway, I have a fantasy of living like a recluse and just meditating the rest of my life. And writing poetry. Just make my purpose thinking of God. A monk of sorts.

So far,don't mind being alone. But I just got out of some dysfunctional crap that hurt me again.

But being a Monk does appeal to me. Just belonging to God. I guess it's safe.:rolleyes:

 

[hjpalm]

I used to work as a checker in a grocery store in a 'community' in Seattle. Everyone would come through my line around holidays and ask, "What are you doing Terri?" I'd make up stories so I wouldn't look like a freak, or so they wouldn't feel sorry for me and invite me over. I wouldn't have been able to take that at that time, I was just struggling to hang on to reality and my boss was stalking me.

Anyway, I have a fantasy of living like a recluse and just meditating the rest of my life. And writing poetry. Just make my purpose thinking of God. A monk of sorts.

So far,don't mind being alone. But I just got out of some dysfunctional crap that hurt me again.

But being a Monk does appeal to me. Just belonging to God. I guess it's safe.:rolleyes:

I understand EXACTLY how you feel. The only people I talk to are my doctors, my sister and husband and son (whom I live with), and the girl I go swimming with. I go to places, like school, but I rarely speak to anyone.
I don't belong here. Right now, I am trying to work myself up to get my own place. I am doing this why. I mean, do I really want a place or am I trying to arrange being a recluse?
People hurt. They make me hurt. It's hard to look at them in the eye because I am scared of what I will see there. God saved me. I am alive today. That is the only thing that keeps me going.

 

[spiritofnow]

I do right now! Alone, alone , alone, alone!

Always so alone!

 

[pandora]

I agree......alone, alone, alone!!!!!!!

 

[Cindy]

No your not Pandora, I'm right here with you!

 

[sheree71]

I always walk around feeling like i'm in a glass box. Noone really understands my world and I don't understand theirs. I'm happily married but feel so alone that it physically hurts.

 

[pandora]

Thanx Cindy...what an ineresting thread because I am feeling so alone right now....I usually feel more alone at holidays and in times when I need help and the only one to help is me. I am almost forcing myself to even come to the forum and that is me just wanting to be alone I guess and often I don't want to write anything when I am having a bad time because I feel like it is harder to change my negative thoughts and I don't want to sound like a whiner

 

[linasmom]

I've always called my loneliness "living in a bubble". For me, it's almost an out of body experience, or maybe I'm so engulfed in being inside of myself that I manifest this feeling of being out of body because I'm detaching. Part of the reason I dislike going to the store is because I don't even want to speak to the cashier when I'm checking out. I start thinking about things like "what if she starts asking other questions beyond 'how are you" and it freaks me out.

I'm a zoner. I zone out all of the time. Someone could be talking to me and I won't hear a word their saying because I'm trying to ease myself by zoning out which I find extremely peaceful.

It's a strange feeling when I think about it: being here, but not.

Best,
Rachel

 

[Grama-Herc]

I sometimes wonder if it is not so much alone in the world, as it is "Why am I in the world"?

I've made no major contribution to society. I could leave right now and there would be no mark or trace left behind.

I have impacted nothing and made no improvement.

I have always felt like I had no reason to be here. Why was I put on this earth? I see others invent things, cure diseases, help restore peace. Major impacts on the world around us. And Me?

Does this fit in with being alone? Without a reason for being, then why be? I have always wanted to know why I was born. What is my reason for being here?

 

[Deleted member 541]

Ok, so this is my take on things.... I choose to be alone. I live alone and like it. Yes, there are times that I get lonely, but for the most part I enjoy being alone. I actually prefer my company to someone else. LOL!!!!!

It wasn't always this way though, and I too felt very alone in the world, different, not like others, very isolated within the world. As I continued to heal myself, get better, get my emotions under control, accept my responsibility for my behavior, lose the anger, and everything else, I became content. This is where I am today. Content!!!! Took some time to get here....

 

[spiritofnow]

You give me hope, She Cat!

Thank you!

Spirit x