Poll Do You Feel Guilty For PTSD Related Behaviour?

[Jim]

Lately my daughter feels very guilty for how she has acted in the past, when her PTSD was largely unmanaged. How she treated the family and others, and so forth. Some of what she did was wrong, yes. However. Vast majority was simply due to her being ill. Survival and anxiety related actions. The wife and myself hold nothing against her, we realize she was ill. However. She continues to berate herself. Again on the phone tonight was crying and saying sorry for something I consider minor. In any event. Curious to know if others feel shame or guilt for PTSD or anxiety related behaviours? Hope that is clear enough.

Jim.

 

[Nicolette]

Hi Jim

Just wondering if Evie is feeling worse due to you being away also?

 

[Jim]

Could be somewhat making it worse. Though this guilt over her actions has been going on for about a month now.

Jim.

 

[nie]

I often feel guilty, as I feel like I am being a burden. I know this is, at least in part, due to the abuse I suffered. However, it is difficult to keep my head straight about it when my PTSD and anxiety are in play.

 

[Jim]

Thank you Nie, much appreciated. Daughter says the same thing,that she feels like a burden. And. That she's often been unsure of the difference between what was actually her "fault" and what was the PTSD. Myself, I prefer to remove the word "fault" all together. Doesn't matter to me in the slightest. It's all part of the illness. I don't judge or blame. Just glad she is feeling better and working on herself, that is all that matters.

Jim.

 

[Claire]

Hello Jim, I remember talking to Evie about the 'burden' thing before. It might be in her diary, I cant remember. I got her to list all the things that she added to your family by being around. Ask her if she remembers, it might help break the cycle. We got quite a good list I recall.

 

[upstream]

I don't believe I will ever feel guilty towards my family for anything trauma related. If they didn't cause the trauma, they knew about it and failed to protect me. Or they were there with me getting traumatized. If anyone should feel guilty it's my parents and older relatives.

 

[Marlene]

I used to feel guilty and wonder why my family put up with me. That was when things were at their worst. I understand now that all of those feelings I had neatly tucked away for so many years came spilling out (along with my symptoms) and I was ill. It took a while for me to forgive myself for really not 'being there' for my family for more than a year.

These days when I have a day or two of high symptoms, I deal with it the best I can and know that I'll feel better shortly. Also I know that it's just part of this whole thing and there's only so much I can do to prevent it. Sometimes I have to remind my family of this...but for the most part their still as supportive and helping as ever.

Lisa

 

[Jim]

Interesting to see everyone's comments and votes so far, thank you, much appreciated. Seems it's a process one goes through in many cases, correct? Recall now that my daughter had a bit of this about a year back too, when she was under stress. She's under some stress again now, could be contributing.

Jim.

 

[anthony]

I answered, "not any more" as I once did feel guilty as I was healing, learning.... but the more I viewed my acts as part of what I have, many of which I simply just had little to no control over as I had no idea why I was doing some things... though it all clicked the more I found out about PTSD. Double edged sword... in that learning produces guilt for past acts, though this is another aspect I had to accept that I did wrong, I learnt from it and have bettered myself as a result, and all I can hope is that those I hurt have moved on and healed themselves. I simply cannot continue feeling guilty for my past acts any further, if I did... it would weight me down constantly. It was a choice for me.... for my own self preservation if you like from PTSD.

 

[Murphy's Law]

... I had to accept that I did wrong, I learnt from it and have bettered myself as a result, and all I can hope is that those I hurt have moved on and healed themselves. I simply cannot continue feeling guilty for my past acts any further, if I did... it would weight me down constantly. It was a choice for me.... for my own self preservation if you like from PTSD.

I answered sometimes. My past guilt, Anthony puts it better than I could.

However, the biggest guilt I have is the burden I will put on family and friends, and even society, as my physical symptoms get worse.

But I guess that is not so much about the PTSD? and more about the physical problems I am left with.

 

[Jim]

Interesting Murphy. Daughter has some physical concerns as well.

My guess. Your guilt would be low self-esteem in that case. Somehow maybe, you don't think you are worthy of being cared for. Certainly not your fault for needing care. It's your right to have help if you need it.

Jim.