Do You Feel Lonely / Desire To Be Alone?

[hapa_gurl87]

I totaly know what you mean. With PTSD it's hard to no want to isolate. I find it nearly impossible to be around people to long before i start to loose my mind. i used to love people company and just ignored drama now anything too stimulating or emotionaly numbing can just devour me whole. Im like a target where dart can hit me left and right and I happen to take everyone energy into my bubble. One thing I find thats most defianitly frusterating is the numb flat non emotional response i try to cover up with pretending I care. Like it makes me mad to feel like a zombie all the time that doesn't find really anything funny or exciting and feel more fear than pleasure around others. That my mind and body wont do what i want it to do. And the uncomfortable painful sensation that occur when I start to do too much. So i find being alone is much easier when it's too hard to connect with others. Plus my therapist says that with ptsd you have to be careful about the situations you put yourself in and the people you keep in your life. Its important to feel safe at home and have a nurturing environment around you that doesnt involve chaos or drama!

 

[anthony]

Do you find that it is easier to be alone????

Yes, I do find it easier for PTSD aspects to be alone, however; from being alone and being with the right person, I actually prefer now being married with the right person. Even though the sheer fact of being in a relationship causes me some stress... the positives far outweigh the negatives to me personally.

 

[Nicolette]

I actually prefer now being married with the right person.

Awe...how beautiful to read..I love you :kiss:

 

[Keenbean]

Hey all!

After my trauma I really used to isolate myself. Even when I went back to university and made friends, I rarely went out with them, and never in a big group. I just couldn't concentrate on being sociable. Sometimes I used to force myself to go out with them just for an hour but I was usually in my own little world and wasn't able to participate in conversation or follow what was being said. I felt bad at not spending time with my friends so sometimes I would organise for us all to go see a film and drive us there. This was the easy option really- I felt as though I was with them but I didn't have to talk to them. Needless to say I never followed whatever film we went to watch, but felt less guilty because I was at least with them in body, if not in mind.

Nowadays I am much better. Whilst at times I need to be on my own I also really feel the need to be socialising some of the time- I have even started to organise social events (nights out etc) with my pals where I work, and can spend a whole day with people I am at ease with without feeling the need to go and hide. At times the intrusive thoughts distract me and I need to be alone somewhere quiet, but not as much as they used to. And I am much happier now that I enjoy time with my pals and am able to take part in different activities with different people. It can be hard to get involved but I think it's also part of the healing process- just setting small goals can be quite helpful at first, and moving on to scarier things when the rest of the symptoms are not quite so bad.

Best wishes, KB

 

[skyp56]

I feel lonely, too, but usually prefer to be alone, rather than have the discomfort of trying to "fit in" with whoever else may be around. Or to try to be cheerful when I am not, or to try to pretend that my fibromyalgia pain is not extreme enough to make me want to scream.

I am continually told by my drs, counselors, and family, that being alone is not good for a "healthy" person. And that just makes me feel worse--like I'm inadequate as a person.

I am trying--SOOOOOO HARD--right now, to learn to be more positive, and just accept spending most of my time alone, and to try to convince myself that it's "ok". It's a fight, but so far, I'm still slugging it out, lol!

I have a good husband, at least he tries to believe me, even if how I feel is as foreign to him as an alien from Mars. So, I should feel very lucky. Yet, sometimes, he is my worst stressor, too.

Anyway, thanks for this thread! It's very pertinent to my current mood!

 

[picklerina]

Yes, I feel this way a lot, especially in a larger group situation. I always end up leaving the party/get together and isolating myself, usually in tears. People who see it ask "whats wrong" and I don't know what to tell them. It's frustrating.

 

[greatfulgirl]

I would rather be alone than having to put up with any extra stress. Although I am married and have a daughter. I am home all the time and it is nice just me and my daughter. You need your own space to go to if things get a little to stressful.

 

[frangipani]

I prefer being alone.

This is a really good topic for me and I wish I could say more but...it's just a little overwhelming thinking about it all. I have serious issues with relationships and people in general (although most people wouldn't know that about me as--on the outside--I tend to get along with others quite well).

I'm very emotionally detached in my relationships and I don't know whether I want to change that (or even whether it's safe for me to change that).

I find relationships, interactions, and even just the presence of other people to be extremely taxing.

I'd like to return to this again later...I think there's a lot more I need to get out about this.

 

[Gunchief]

A lot of times I fish just to be alone or walk. At work I would volunteer to go inside of a conveyor and work for hours undisturbed. But I enjoy the friendship of others when the mood hits me. Just dont get close or in my face. I can talk for hours in a fly shop or gun store or book store. But all in all I do enjoy being alone with a book or a fly.
The military taught me to keep my list of friends very short and all the others aqquantances, people came and went so fast.
And that has passed over into my life in the world. Those I love are short, then friends and then others. But there are a few that transcend friend and love and are in between.
Alone is good but a friend is always welcomed.
Dave

 

[pandora]

I like that phrase...alone is good but a friend is always welcomed!!! I wrote this post so long ago..Now...I am living with my Mom but we have our own separate living areas. We spend the mornings separate..afternoons together..then we have supper together and the evenings we separate again. My son wants to be alone alot more now...I like the little routine that we have right now. Being alone as much as I was in the past year...definately not healthy.

 

[Fortress]

I need to be alone sometimes, but if I don't have some sort of trivial distraction, it will lead to disassociation. This gets frustrating when I wanted to get some reading or work done, only to reallize that I have spent hours staring at the wall. I am married, but it took a LOT of patience and respect for boundaries.

I am happiest - and concentrate best - when my husband is nearby, but we are each doing our own thing. He might be on his laptop while I have a book in the same room, for example. I will also go to quiet public places like coffee shops or the park to be near people, but balance it out by listening to my i-pod or something. My cats, too, are really theraputic because they are quietly nearby, providing just enough of a distraction (or affection) to keep me "here."

My husband recently started a new job where he works second shift (I work 9-5), so I have a lot more time alone than I used to. I'm still getting used to this, because it's really easy for me to disassociate or waste time when he isn't around. Then, when he comes home, I have trouble adjusting to his company and get twitchy/irritable.

 

[JCL]

Thank goodness I have found you all, at last.... reading this, I do not feel so alone any more. I do crave solitude but I knew you were out there. I am not alone. It's easier to be solitary, not so easy to be alone with it. A beautiful paradox; in solitude with friends....Is why you guys are going to be so important to me...and is why i might be able to help you.

I have been with this for such a long time now, it's more me than I was before. Don't get me wrong, I don't mind so much, I have become so much more because of it. I'm still having a hard time with it all though and could do with a few people to talk to.