Do You Feel The Presence Of The Abuser Sometimes?

[Lola Nocheprieta]

@aut555, no offense taken at all! :tup: It's all good. I just feel sad that my first thought about being rid of my abusers, (scrubbing their scent off me is how I think about it) to be pure "again" ... I guess you have to first believe you started out pure once upon a time. It's my own stuff I'm going through.

<wiping crumbs off face> Thanks for the cookies, though, gladly accepted, along with hugs!!!:happy:

 

[Hope1969]

strip it away and you are pure once again.

What is pure? What it means to be pure again?

 

[Lola Nocheprieta]

What is pure? What it means to be pure again?

Exactly. I don't really have memories prior to the beginning of the section reviews. I don't think I've ever felt "pure," or clean, or innocent. I've always felt dirty, tainted, and bad. :(

BUT, I am working on self-validation, self-compassion, and challenging cognitive distortions! :tup:

 

[aut555]

What is pure? What it means to be pure again?

Crap, l didn't know how to end that sentence so l threw in pure, like pure child innocence that we are all born with.

 

[Hope1969]

Crap, l didn't know how to end that sentence so l threw in pure, like pure child innocence that we are a...

Amen to that!!!

 

[BuckarooBanzai]

god i know it sounds a bit psychotic or childish .

Not at all!

When abused, especially as a child and when the abuse is continuous over time, the victim tends to 'take in' elements of the abuser. Not to imply that we become abusers, but rather that their verbal 'sound bites' tend to get recorded and later replayed in our minds. So, for instance, in my case, I can hear my abusers (in my head) say things like, "You're so (stupid, not worth educating, etc.)!" These thoughts are hard to get rid of.

I suspect that your recent therapy has merely brought more of this to the surface, which is why the topic is perplexing you now.

Please know, however, that this problem is to be expected, given the circumstances, and so is considered 'normal'.