Do You Like To Be Hugged?

[Jade-]

I have huge issues with hugs and I'd love to get over it.

I can hug my kids, no problem, I hug them hello and goodbye everyday. Anyone else though and I feel like I'm being violated.

My sons GF and I always hug and I was happy that I am able to do that. But a few days ago when she was over, she mentioned that I only give "half" hugs from the side. So I gave her a full hug and she started laughing and said I acted so scared. Humiliating!

My mom didn't hug me my entire childhood and when I was 30 she told me she "forgot" to, so hugging isn't something I'm accustomed to. Add sexual abuse on top of it and you get a cold, hands-off, stay away and don't touch me kind of person. I do hug my husband sometimes though.

 

[gdf]

I am not a hugger or a toucher, especially from strangers or married men. I didn't even like hugging my brother-in-law. I have always been tactility defensive to a large degree and the greater the degree of separation the more uncomfortable I was. In church, when the time came to get up and circulate around and greet people I hated it because people I didn't know well would want to hug me. After working through many of my abuse issues I am better at this. My close (and I mean close) family and a few friends are more huggable to me and I tend to hug them more often than not.

I think that element of raw sexual energy comes across in some people as someone (sorry forgot to check who) posted earlier in this thread and I avoid definitely avoid those people--it's like a sense of falseness or deceit you feel as a warning...they are just not what they seem on the surface.

Oddly enough, people, especially children seem to want to touch me which I feel is awkward and I risk hurting their feelings if I decline. So then I am in an uncomfortable situation...if the hug doesn't feel sincere I am afraid I will convey negativity to them and if I refuse then I feel like I offend.

 

[LeoTheLion]

I have not read all of the comments theres a long thread, I did read some. I want to share mine, I am not much of hugger or a toucher either. But only few certain people I willing to hug but generally I don't like being hugs. Sometime like children or situation depends sometime willing to give hug.

 

[onlybygrace]

I wish I could really enjoy and feel a hug. To me a hug has no meaning....even from my husband. I have two grown children and even with them, a hug is routine. I draw a total blank on them and the subject. A hug will and can trigger me, so I am very leary of them. I haven't figured out why I am so numb to them but I am.

 

[emmat]

If I'm comfortable with someone then I love hugging - my partner, very close friends etc. That bit of human against human contact really helps keep me grounded. Though, that said if I don't know the person hugging me/ don't trust them or am not expecting a hug I can - and will - freak. Non-mutually-consensual hugs are not something I can handle.