Do You Look At Your Therapist When You Talk?

[The Albatross]

I do at the start and at the end, but not during the session. I get tensed up when I see him jotting away on his pad and start fretting and fixating about what he's writing on there.

 

[sea]

I stand with my back to him, or walk around outside when I am really out of it.

 

[kimba]

It depends on the subject matter. if I am making progress and it's positive, I will look at her but if I am having a hard time, I stare ahead most of the time. I don't always know what my hands are doing- the last session I dug a crystal from someones apparently broken necklace or bracelet out from under the couch cushion. It came in handy to end a topic quickly though as I had gotten uncomfortable by then and got up to give it to her (thus ending the topic:sneaky:)!

 

[just me here]

Since the first time I posted on this thread, I have changed my T and I have to say it was because of things I saw in her eyes. After enough time together I saw frustration and boredom, maybe even some anger. I wasn't responding as well as I had been for awhile there, I was losing ground on many fronts, I was unable to accept some things that she based many of her ideas on, and I think she was also under the gun for spending too much time getting me back out of the system. I left because of things I started to suspect, asked about, and saw the answer in her eyes.

New T tomorrow, going back after 2 months off and seeing a private practice instead of a HMO cattle chute this time around- wish me luck!

 

[LawPhotos]

I've worked with the same T for about 3 years and I still have very little eye contact with her. Sometimes I struggle to come up with a mental picture of what she looks like because I look at her so little. I really only look at her when she is talking---remnant of the past, if I didn't look at my mother when she spoke to me she'd grab my chin hard and yank my head up or I'd get a slap across the face.
I just can't look at my T even though I know I should I think it is a shame/fear thing just like others of you. Mostly I just fixate on the wall straight ahead of me but if the subject is tough I actually have to turn my face away.

 

[Lionheart]

I have noticed that I do look my "T" in the eye, unless I am trying to remember or envision something, then I stare off into space. Not sure why exactly.

 

[liv now]

This is a great thread. thanks! It has got me thinking. If I really want to understand something my T is saying I give her a lot of eye contact. Also if I am annoyed with her, eye contact is not a problem LOL. I avoid eye contact if I am feeling shame though. Just wondering, what is "normal" or "healthy" amount of eye contact? Surely it can't be 100%. Sometimes I need to look away so I can get my thoughts together.

 

[bittersweet]

Back when I was with my previous T I would look him in the eyes most of the time. I am a firm believer that you can learn a lot about a person by looking them in the eye and if I was able to give him a chance to see me eye to eye than maybe he could help me better. The only time I would look away was when I would start to cry when the subject was about my rape. It was a painful and shameful memory and I can't even look my husband in the eye when we talk about it let alone my T

 

[charliehotelwhiskey]

I have always kept eye contact with my therapists, except when the subject got diffucult to talk about. I would then take a couple of deep breaths and tried to proceed, but not always sucessful.

 

[SimplyComplex]

I have noticed that I do look my "T" in the eye, unless I am trying to remember or envision something, then I stare off into space. Not sure why exactly.

I have this same situation. Accept I also struggle with eye contact in and out of the office, especially when I have to walk past her. Walking past her feels so weird