BPD Do you sometimes wonder if you have two personalities?

[Queen Boudica]

I feel like in order to be normal I have to focus the other me and put it into a box or something like this. And when I can't do it, the other me has a lot of control over my thoughts and I pretty much can not function at all. Then all the bad thoughts and fear and panic can rush in. A trigger can do it.

Don't know how to offer any advice on the feeling of stability or security.

Just wanted to say I can relate to what you wrote in the first paragraph.

 

[Anna]

Definatly. I turned overnight into a completly different person after my trauma happened. Completly changed my apperance and everything. I think it is a coping strategy to help overcome what has happened.

 

[Meadowsweet]

I think I have one personality split into two for convenence, or to keep me functional.

I say that because when I'm out in the world of people, I'm aware of my secret self and feel shame, guilt and fear that someone will see whats inside.

Then when I'm by myself and all my stuff is coming up in my mind, I can't see how I'm going to get out and function. But I function because of fear of emotional me being seen.

 

[Hashi]

(Incidentally, I was diagnosed with PTSD in the early 90s, but I don't identify as a "Sufferer". Where a label is necessary for description, I prefer to call myself a Survivor.)

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