Do you tell the truth in therapy?

[Freida]

Thank you all so very much for taking the time to answer my question. Much appreciated! However I guess I wasn't clear. I don't know if he's truthful about his symptoms. How bad his nightmares are. The fact that he wakes up nauseated and puking most days, the anxiety, depression, anger, etc, etc. He's trying to get his ssdi and pension. Yet tells the ssdi lady " he doesn't really need it, only for a short period of time". I told him he has to be honest about his symptoms and the effect PTSD has on him. He is a HIGHLY trained combat veteran. He can't look weak in any way. Ever! And in his mind PTSD makes him weak. He had group this week and i think they actually addressed this with him. He said "I'm finally realizing I'm a disabled combat veteran". That's a sad day for my guy!! I just want you to know how much I value your thoughts and have come to love you all in a PTSD forum kind of way. XOXOXO ❤ HAPPY THANKSGIVING to all of you!

Ohhhhh. That.... Lol. :laugh:
yep. Just like my brother from another mother I totally downplay my symptoms. Ptsd does make me weak (yea yea I'm working on it) and puts me in danger. Yep. Still. After all this therapy and crap.

It took filing for social security to make me come to terms with it because it asked for a list of symptoms and hubby made me check EVERY single one. after, if course, I checked two. I still get horribly depressed about the label "disabled vet" because it doesn't describe me. I'm tougher than that. So I minimize But it's getting easier. Today for example I'm hiding in the bedroom for a bit..because I need to. And for once I'm not ashamed about telling people how I feel symptom wise. Well ok.. family people! lol
He admitted it to you. That's huge. Really huge. :hug:

 

[recoveringfromptsd]

My old T I could not trust enough to not withhold stuff. In the end she betrayed me multiple times. But my current T has gone far beyond what most T's will. My relationship is one of brutal honesty. That means if I am having S/I or think about or doing S/H I tell her, and I have many times, even where I am not in session.

She gives me the respect of working on why I feel that way, and does not have me carted off to a psych ward, unless I am in imminent danger. And if I was she expects to tell her that. So what I get are choices instead of them taken away, one choice is going to the ER on my own, and I have done just that.

And I have actually told her of such thoughts. I was not carted off. This has given me the foundation I need to actually talk about my trauma completely, emotions, anger, and all.

Joey Little who I believe owns/runs this site I am sure will back me up when I say I have come a long way, when I first came to the site, I was so suicidal he had to shut me down for openly stating my plans. I have gone from having flashbacks, emotions and all that comes with PTSD and acting them like wanting or doing S/H to being open about it with those who have the power to lock me up and not getting locked up because I am open enough they can trust me enough that they put the responsibility on me instead to seek what interventions I may need, even those which might lead to being on a locked psych ward. And it works at least for me.

I used to feel hopeless all my life and even when I first started on this site, and its only recently I have told people that for the first time I feel some hope. Because me and my T both walk the talk as some would coin the phrase with each other.

Huge difference when all those with the power to intervene by taking choices away and taking responsibility for me safety instead will ask me "what am I going to do to be safe", "what do I need to do" and expect me to follow thru to continue having choices. And they expect me to follow through, as do I expect myself to follow through.

That is a long way to come in 2 years or so.

But every T is different, and not every T is the right fit for the client, and not every T relationship is like mine. And you often can't tell if the T is a bad fit until you try one and give them a chance.

Not everyone knows the short the many of us use, be here below is what they mean for those who don't know.
S/H = Self harm
S/I = Suicidal ideation

 

[Rugby02]

Like the title says, do you tell the truth in therapy? My guy is trying to get his military pension and also his SSDI. And I don't think he tells his doctors how bad his PTSD affects him. (he says he is truthful with them). But I have my suspicions. Why wouldn't you be truthful? Weakness?? Hope you're all having a good day!

Too often we vets want to downplay the truth because none of us want to appear incompetent. We’re hardwired like that.

Try coming at it from a different direction. Get people who knew him prior to and after his military time to pen letters and submit them into his file. WRITE what you witness including his deception of appearing stronger than he is. Give specific, quantifiable examples such as, in one typical week he had night terrors four times, every night here he checks the windows or doors, etc.

By submitting this paperwork, it’ll help his claims AND help the therapists gets better view of needed treatment plans.

 

[LuckiLee]

Thank you @Rugby02. Thus is gonna be such a long drawn out ordeal. Isn't it? I've started writing a letter documenting what I observe on a daily basis. Unfortunately I'm really the only person who sees what's going on. I guess his (twin) brother and Mom could write something too. I've told him to contact some of his "brothers" to also write a bit about his service. I'd be extremely grateful if you have any other advice. Thanks again!!!!

 

[ILoveLife]

If I'm not, I don't do it on purpose? Like, I genuinely minimize my issues. T often gasps :roflmao:

I think, well if it doesn't bother me I can live with it?

I'm truthful when it comes to depression and suicidal ideation, but took me a long time to accept I even had flashbacks and laughed in T's face when she went "....so, yeah, that's a flashback" Uhm. But never did bother me much, I get triggered in different ways, dissociation, overwhelming stress, intrusive thoughts.

 

[Rugby02]

Here's what I said to a vet that tried to downplay symptoms after describing what happened: "Do you think that's a normal day at work?!" after trying to tell me that having the last remaining strong point was described as "The Alamo". Develop a version of June Cleever, and then compare what you experienced to the most white-washed suburbia housewife with perfect makeup and dinner ready precisely at 6 p.m. along with 2.45 kids who are neatly presentable for dinner every evening. It's a bit atrocious BUT compared to that scenario, you/SO will have quite a few contrasts.

This vet came to my house and I wrote five pages as a prototype of what should be submitted. The fifth page was all symptoms that I viewed in our discussion to which I put an asterisk next to about eight of them for the spouse to write in a separate paper. Then I told this vet to discuss these issues (18) with the therapist to validate what I suspected. (I'm NOT a psychologist.) The end result is that I knew I could get this vet to 50% but it ended up being 70% AND this vet is in ongoing therapy to boot. Win for our team!!

I'm telling you this because if you can find someone who understands PTSD/MST/TBI or any of these combinations then see if that person will go down the rabbit hole with you/SO to discuss this with you, write it out and help you ascertain things you might not have considered. Just have a plan for afterwards: I went to the gym after taking a really long nap....

***If you need someone to assist you/SO on this please let me know so we can creatively figure something out.***

BTW, I need to ascertain the start date/location of the AT.
Does 14 May 2019 work? Springer Mountain, GA?
I'm proposing the first couple of days just be day trips (since not everybody may be up to camping overnight ---yeah, AF, I'm talking to you!!) and then this other vet who spent waaayyyy too much time with crayon-eaters and I are heading out for a longer foray. Veteran status is not required.

 

[MyWillow]

My brain tells the truth as it understands it to be. My body tells the whole truth and nothing but the truth.

 

[MyWillow]

Just want to add that there are some super skilled Ts out there who can gradually drag the truth out of you. I will never forget my first psydoc appointment - she didn’t say “how are you?” (Because yeah I’m fine thanks), she asked “how does it feel to be here today?” Faaaaaaaaark. She has an ability to get me into a state where I can’t control what I say or how my body reacts. Incredible insight and observational skills as well. My body will respond when she says something - one tear, a shudder, a twitch, shaking - and she’ll say it again as if she’s confirming the response. Nails it every time which, of course, helps my self awareness.

 

[Freida]

yeah, AF, I'm talking to you!!)

Ill be thinking of y'all while I'm soaking away drinking wine! :)

 

[lovak]

I will never forget my first psydoc appointment - she didn’t say “how are you?” (Because yeah I’m fine thanks), she asked “how does it feel to be here today?” Faaaaaaaaark..

Damn, that's good...

I tried to be honest in therapy, I always have. But I think that only the last couple months I've been able to - sometimes - be honest to myself. I was probably lying without knowing I was.

 

[Alaska Moose]

Hello; I’m new just registered tonight and have been reading the stories in here and it has caused me to do a lot of reflection and look at my time with my T (only 3 visits) and one visit with the head Dr. I can say the hardest so far was to say yes maybe I need to talk to someone. My T was shocked during or first visit but handled it in a way that by the end of that visit I was starting to loosen up somewhat. But then by the last visit I started to get that guarded feeling because she mentioned going into the hospital for some intense help. The brakes we applied without hesitation now I wonder do I need to forget about somethings and slow things down a bit but a lot of things are happening at home that make me worried about where I could be heading unless I take control of things to which I’m not sure if I can again right now yet I do not believe lies are the way to go either. There are just so many things going on in my head right now. Btw my PTSD involves childhood things and military. Even though I was not in combat I was a cop and unhappily involved in some terribly intense things here stateside. Well I’ll keep coming back and looking for some answers but for now I think I’ve said enough. Thanks everyone your experience and questions are extremely helpful.

 

[Freida]

Hi @Alaska Moose and welcome

I wonder do I need to forget about somethings and slow things down a bit

Best way to deal with ptsd is to slow down --- which pretty makes all of us crazy!

Btw my PTSD involves childhood things and military. Even though I was not in combat I was a cop and unhappily involved in some terribly intense things here stateside.

I'm a vet and was a dispatcher and we have groups for both military and first responder if you want to c'mon over and join us :hug: