So many good posts. I did not have ptsd until assaulted by a cop 7 yrs ago, but some things were already weakening me. I have gone through many stages. I tried to find justice rather than caring for myself first, leading to more complications. I have gone through total anger, which of course did not work I have sought help through the justice system, didnt work but but finally same cop did same again is on probation and I am weak and tired. have lost everything. I have never been able to make any real progress. I agreed to settle case given that last year this officer was charged with same he did to me. I want closure to this in the worst way. But even now, I have to address all that I negelected. I am trying to put life back together, but have this overwhelming fear of them retaliating. This fear has caused such a set back. My fear is self sabatoging. Im afraid to move beyond because if I do well, someone will put me back to not wanting to live again. Dont know if this makes any sense. I dont really trust anyone. I am so exhausted I spend much time in bed. Anger reduced but fears escalated.
