... It feels like something I absolutely have to do, almost like a duty.
Does anyone else feel a similar urge? Have you acted on it? And, any idea as to why this feels so important?
Someone told me it was a way of dealing with the trauma. I've got it too although it's less like a compulsion than it used to be. I went through desperately wanting to do something and feeling guilty if I couldn't, it was like if I didn't I was allowing it to happen to someone else, took me a while to realise that even under ideal circumstances there is only so much I can do and I just wasn't in good enough shape to look after myself much less help anyone else, I was the one who need to be leaning on other people. Also I'm entitled to get on with my life and make choices about what's best for me, after all I've been through a little fun wouldn't go astray either, took me a while to not feel guilty about that.
I have tried to do so many things work-wise. I am not able to work outside the home. I have finally resolved myself to this and accepted it.
... I can't work anywhere near full-time, but good heavens, I'll do whatever I can, you know??
Bailey
Same for me, I'm ok so long as I don't have to deal with the general public behaving badly (eg hospitality) I've gone back to working on home based projects. Still I want to do something more and don't know where to start, frustrating.
I donate regularly to a non-religious charity that helps neglected and abused kids. I asked them to stop sending me their newsletters and extra requests for donations, though. All of this charity's literature is written assuming that everyone who is donating had a good childhood and would have no idea what it's like growing up in an abusive or neglectful situation. *sigh*
I don't like the way a lot of charities are heavy handed with their advertising, like they are trying to drive home their point marketing a charity the same as selling a product or service, it could be done better, I blame the advertising agencies.
I give as much as I can to the arts - I run free workshops and publish books at no cost to the individual.
I'd like to do something like that, the arts is where I was headed before I was derailed, the trauma has become something I can draw from so it feels less of a burden and more like something with potential and I've just started getting back into building my skills the last few years. The arts and humanities here (outside of "the creative industries" ie commercial, and the hobbies market) are pretty neglected, pitty because I think they would be a great vehicle for addressing the issues the trauma brought up in a broader context, both in getting involved in the community and through the work itself, it gives people a voice, alturism is good for the industry too. If I got involved in charities and politics I think I'd be well outside my comfort zone. Volenteer work didn't work out for me, very slow and self defeating stuctures some of them, I didn't like the way the old hands looked down on me like all I was good for was making cups of tea and doing the dishes and lots of professional workers trying to make it all work pushing red tape uphill and getting tripped up, very frustrating. With the arts it's familiar territory and I can get my feet wet without drowning. What kind of things do you do?
I guess part of this for me is this sense that there must be some meaning in the madness, something I've learned or gained from all of this that can be useful in some way.
That's where I'm at. I looked for meaning and outside of some grand plan someone forgot to tell me about I couldn't find one. The best I could do was try to put meaning into it by finding ways to put what I'd learnt to good use.
Linasmom
So anyway, enough of my soap box lecture on the pluses of becoming a shelter/foster mommy to needy animals.
Animals helped me too, I got so involved with a sick pet my kids got jealous of him.
