Does Anyone Else Mask Their Anxiety?

[Rumors]

@LynnSharon
Yes it does make sense. It is a feeling like everyone can just look at you and know how completely messed up everything is in your life. So, you isolate, run, pretend, put on a face, and whatever else is needed in order to protect yourself against the feeling of vulnerability.

 

[ninja]

Yes. And it can feel confusing because there is a part of me who wants help dealing with the anxiety, a part that fears I will not be able to listen well enough to the help others may be willing to give, a part that doesn't want to express the anxiety out of a fear that doing so will possibly make others feel a similar way, a part that is afraid others may be afraid of me if I express the irrational character the fears take on, a part that just thinks hiding is the safest bet till all is clear (when is that exactly?), a part that disagrees and wants to express the anxiety so as to make room for other emotions, a part that gets hopeless and tired in response to the helplessness from feeling unable to find 'the right' or good enough way to respond at all, a part that feels way way less than capable or good enough, and a part that wants to focus the energy anxiety brings to be creative. :O_o:

 

[Heather]

I wish I could get my anxiety under control. Nothing worse than ending up with stomach in knots, doubled over in pain and having the "runs".....all stress related.

Sometimes I'm in the powder room upwards of 6 - 8 times a day.....result: very sore hiney.

 

[Deleted member 34424]

I think everyone does until you go over your personal threshold.

 

[aliveandwell]

Went to bed and woke up with a higher level of anxiety than normal. I go through phases where my anxiety...

Yes, definitely have masked it. I realize though how helpful it would be to just be honest about it, with a kind person, friend, as most likely i would probably just feel comforted, and more "normal" instead of feeling like i have to hide it all costs, as if it was something to be ashamed of, or other. Id definitely talk about it with the therapist, can be greatly therapeutic to get it out in the open, get it out there. They could maybe even help you understand where it may be coming from or how to cope with it. I think for me, keeping it in, and then suffering in silence, and not having an outlet, by sharing it with someone or figuring out what is stressing me, is what gets me every time.

 

[Deleted member 28403]

Quite a lot

 

[cupfish]

Ummm did I write this or did you? I'm in this boat too. It's very leaky!

I subvert PTSD anxiety and channel it as a reasoned, surgical argument why someone else is MESSED UP about whatever topic is at hand. I don't do this as much as I used to, my husband can actually spot me and stop me going down this path. It looks like a very smart, angry woman railing about something but it's a PTSD anxiety attack masked as someone else's problem. Gick. So bad.

 

[Enaila]

I agree with the rest of you though I have noticed my anxiety around time of a full moon is worse. I was trying to figure out last time I felt so anxious and it was before a full moon hike my son and I were going to go on. He invited me again a few days ago for the hike this month. I know my students get ansyier when the moon is full.

 

[Selfcompassion7]

Sometimes anxiety in the mornings is just a function of my burnt out adrenal glands cover enough at night that as soon as I wake up I get a surge of anxiety triggered by whatever random thing. I feel the fear and the adrenaline and such surging through my system.

 

[Go Hungry]

I hide my anxiety all the time. And I mean like, ALL THE TIME. Until I'm out of view of anyone.. then it comes roaring out and I'm shaking and crying and the whole deal. I found myself an enclosed cube at work so people can't see me shuddering. In honestly though, I'm really only good at hiding it for short bursts of time. I can do it around strangers, or when in a store. But I think most people just know that something is off..

 

[seekinghelpfromhell]

I often get comments on how calm I am, when in reality I am completely shutting down internally and feel like I am about to collapse! It's crazy how we can feel so much, yet not show it on the outside.

I have this same thing too. People always, tell me I have such a "calming presence", and I think to myself, you've got to be joking! Because, I don't feel calm. I feel shaky, sweaty, insecure, crazy, heart pounding, can't get a breath. I guess I do hide it well, until I'm alone. Sometimes, especially if I get to be alone with my spouse gone, I cry uncontrollably and get comfort from my dogs because my spouse never physically comforts me. I have frequent palpitations, which were checked out by a cardiologist and he didn't find anything wrong with me. My Dr. has had me on diazepam for about 1 1/2 years, and that will sometimes calm me down but makes me tired (and if you read my other message about exhaustion, you'll know I don't need more of that). My Dr. has really started to cut back on my prescription and it's my safety net. I'm scared to go on without it. She thinks I have depression and my therapist disagrees (and I tend to agree with my therapist). I do feel sad and cry a lot, but I've gotten to where I don't tell that to my Dr. because she just wants to prescribe me more pills. The diazepam helped, I'm not sure why I have to go off it. I didn't ask for more or a higher dose or anything.

Back to the original topic, yes, I hide it, with everything I have. If I feel like I can't and I'm at work, I go to the bathroom and sit in the stall, or I take a walk outside and get away from other people, or find a way to stay removed from all my work people. If I'm at home and my spouse is there, I do try to hide it, but most of the time I'm just going straight to bed and am made to feel guilty for that. Panic is so hard for me to control, I always feel like it's going to show, but each instance so far I've been able to hide it. What I worry about is what if there comes a time I can't hide it? Then what?

 

[Gadgie]

Since I'm not in the work environment any more, being a pensioner, and now live alone, I don't have anyone to pretend to any one any more.

When I was working in my last job, I kept my self to my self, and didn't mix in with the others, (there was a reason for this, which I can't go into just now, as it would take too long?) So I never had to pretend to anyone.

My late wife knew about my problems, although she didn't really understand it, but went ahead and told all her whole family, against my wishes, and of course they used to try and wind me up about it, at every opportunity they could find!!!!!

I never see any of them anymore these days, which I am glad about!!!