Does anyone find hearing/seeing their own name difficult?

[somerandomguy]

I don't like my first name as it is the most common name for men my age, or any age actually. Partially because of this, in grade school all of my peers called me by both my first and last names (like Charlie Brown). I hated this, still do, and now go by a different form of my first name. I still sometimes think about changing it but I'm probably just too old and used to it now.

 

[Fadeaway]

Despise it, but no one really knows me by that name anymore. I guess it
Is better than the name my mom wanted to give me, but when your on mom teased you viciously over your name.

 

[ericaboo]

I have terrible feelings around my name. I've asked people to just not call me a name, or call me nicknames. I have a startle/cringe reaction whenever they do, like I'm going to be yelled at.

 

[littleoc]

I tried to go by my middle name in grade school because it was more masculine. Teachers didn’t like that, and I go by a very feminine name.

It’s okay. My ex wouldn’t call me by my name, only Buddy, and I didn’t get to act like myself. So I’m not sure if my example counts. But you’re clearly not alone in this!

 

[Hopefully]

It really interesting to see the replies to this and reassuring to feel it is a common feeling.

Those closest to me now tend to call me by a shortened version on my name, it isn’t something my family have ever called me and I like it, it feels like adult me, one away from the place I grew up and the people who knew me then.

I still don’t really know what feels wrong about hearing my name or having to say it, it just feels jarring and odd. Maybe it feels over exposing, sometimes more disjointed, surprising that is me, sometimes it feels shameful and embarrassing. When it is written down it is a confusion that those letters represent me.

I don’t really know how to pull it all apart, it feels like a lot of different things at once.