Does Anyone " Get It "? I Don't Know Who I Can Trust.

[Lani]

I've been through traumas I've been through therapists and now I need help. Things are gettingworse,my family deserves better and they deserve so much better from me. I don't know what to do I don't know where to go - please help.

 

[Iam]

Hi Lani,
I am sorry that you are having such a hard time. It took a lot of courage to post here on the forum and I am glad you did.
. You will also find lots of support from the members here. There are also lots of informative articles on the home page that really help with insight. Take your time and post as you feel comfortable.

Sounds like you've been in therapy before, but aren't now. Is that correct? Whether you are or not the forum can be extremely helpful, but if you don't have a therapist it might be a good idea to try to find one that specializes in trauma to help you navigate thru this tough time.

Again, welcome to the forum (((HUGS)))

 

[amethist]

Hi Lani

Welcome to the forum.

As Iam said above, there is a lot of very good and useful articles on the "Home Page". Take everything slowly, rushing to take it all in at once won't help.

Baby steps is the best way forward.

Amethist

 

[Lani]

Thank you - I didn't know how much a few kind words from people I don't even know would mean. Finding a good trauma therapist is part of the problem. The therapists I've seen have been supportive they just don't seem to get it. Just like everyone else I have so many responsibilities, things - I'm overwhelmed embarassed afraid...then I pretend everythings okay - I can't even think straight any more

 

[anni]

Hi Lani,

I felt like that too, and actually cried the first time I had a reply here- just relief! There are days I think most people here have given up trying to think straight, also, maybe tomorrow! :) One of the things which is nicest about being here is that you're not 'the only one'. you know?

Do what you can, where you can. We're here.

Take care,

Anni

 

[KP the nut]

I'm new here as well and found the support and kindness overwhelming. It is great not to be 'fine' and OK when asked.

If a day seems too long try small steps of an hour or less.

Welcome

 

[shadowchaser]

Call around and specifically ask the different offices if they have experience with ptsd. It makes it easier if you go to someone who has helped others with it before.

 

[Iam]

Finding a good trauma therapist is part of the problem. The therapists I've seen have been supportive they just don't seem to get it.

I understand what you are saying Lani. I love my primary T, but he does not specialize in trauma and when we got stuck he recommended that I find someone who is certified in EMDR. If you are in the states Lani you can look at emdrnetwork.com. It lists T's that are certified in EMDR. These Ts specialize in trauma and usually are very well versed in other forms of therapy as well, not just EMDR. I found a wonderful T through this website and the difference is amazing. I still see my primary T as well, but if I had to go with only one T I would choose the trauma specialist as she truly "gets it".

 

[Lani]

we were in a terrible accident. I took my son to an EMDR therapist - he was so young and the therapist just tried jumping right into it. He wasn't sold and at 5 years old told her he was fine and wouldn't have anymore nightmares. He just wanted her to stop and to leave, can't say I blame him! I feel bad putting himin an uncomfortable situation. I know in my head not all emdr therapists would be like that. I'm afraid of laying it on the line again, putting it out there, being exposed and vulnerable again with no assurances the person on the other side is actually there to help me and not just fill their own agenda - or time slot. How successful has emdr been for anyone else out there? I have to figure out if it's worth the gamble once again. (by the way, a couple years later, some therapy and the like and so far my sons nightmares seem to have stopped...I'm afraid to even say that out loud).

 

[Iam]

Wow Lani, IMHO no T should just jump right in without developing a relationship first. I started with my EMDR T last October. We started with grounding and haven't even started on the traumas themselves yet due to a setback I had on Halloween. She wants to make sure that things continue to be calmer at home first. The EMDR we are doing though has been absolutely incredible. I am seriously amazed at how it has helped me. I am sure the fact that this T is so in tune with me helps too.

Anyway, my whole point is that you have to find the right T, one that you trust and understands the type of trauma you went thru. I did a lot of research and interviewing before choosing her. It was well worth the time and effort to do so.

You are investing your time, money and mental health in therapy so take your time to find the right T.

 

[KP the nut]

OMG I agree with Iam, my T spent time talking then building a safe place and getting me to practice coping exercises. Finding the right T is crucial, I saw one in the past and we said nothing for 3 sessions, v uncomfortable then he said I wasn't right for therapy! I now know he wasn't right to be a T.
Love KP

 

[Iam]

OMG I agree with Iam, my T spent time talking then building a safe place and getting me to practice coping exercises.

You explained it better KP....grounding, safe place and coping skills. So important with EMDR because it brings your thoughts and feelings to the surface and you need to be prepared to handle them!

Finding the right T is crucial, I saw one in the past and we said nothing for 3 sessions, v uncomfortable then he said I wasn't right for therapy! I now know he wasn't right to be a T.

What the heck????? Darn right......he needs a T himself ROFL!