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Does anyone go in and out of denial?

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I think I'm at a stage where it feels 'whatever' and all is what it is. And I don't want to focus on it or be selfish. But no doubt it's had or has a gnawing effect on parts of me or my psyche. Idk. There's a limit to even my selfishness or self-centeredness, but it's hard to deny, too. At least privately within me. It's influenced who I am.

The elephant in the room of my head or heart. With big feet lol. 🐘
 
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I have way too many clear memories to deny it so I deny it’s bad. Deny anyone did anything to me versus it’s something that happened. I deny it was abuse all the time. Deny it happened…no, honestly wish I could.
 
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