Does Anyone Have Helpful Hints On Dealing With Disassociation?

[tk321]

My partner has trouble with dissociation sometimes, too. Some things that have helped her are, like a lot of folks are saying, getting out and doing something ... feeding the fish in our pond, yardwork, playing with the dog, etc. Mindfulness also is an excellent practice. With it, you learn to become more in tune with what's happening around and inside you. Sometimes, she can sense the dissociation before she checks out all the way.

If she's already gone or on the way out, I make eye contact with her and gently talk to her to bring her back to the present moment. Usually it's just "come back, Honey. We're [wherever we are], and you're safe." It helps during her flashbacks too ... "Honey, that's not happening now. [Make eye contact]. You're safe. You're [wherever we are] with the doggie and me." Or something to that effect.

I've learned to spot it when it happens. Ask your own partner. It's possible you might have certain physical symptoms that are a warning sign. With my girl, it's all in the eyes. She gets a certain glazed over, heavy lidded look and you can bet she's dissociating ...

Anyway, hope this helps. Have a wonderful day.

 

[pandora]

Hi Becvan

i also do this a lot. i don't know what advice to give, i know it feels pretty lonely when this happens. it makes me feel like I am going crazy.
"Of all of the things that I have lost, I miss my mind the most"
(ha ha)
Take care.
pandora

 

[Deleted member 93]

I have no help or advice, I see things here suggested but once I hit this it is over. No "coming back" until home and inside. Closest I can describe it as is like nothing is real. No one seems to notice when I do this which blows me away as I am very aware. Colors are off or too bright, I hear Charlie Brown's teacher talking LOL. I can pick up enough to get and idea what someone is saying. I am just not there and nothing around me is right. I feel high as a kite. It is hard to explain, but I have yet to find a damn thing that grounds me except being back in my home. I know not helpful. Sorry but this one leaves me totally lost and I have yet to master or even be able to half ass control. I really truly think this aspect of PTSD is the hardest to overcome. Everything else we can face and find relief, this one we just are not there and feel crazy. I hope you can figure something out to help y'all and if you do let us know!

 

[becvan]

Thank you, all of you. I know this is a tough one. I've been working on the switching gears, for myself, and I am finding that if I get up and start on a chore I'm not as bad. Still doing it, but not as bad. So while I'm offline I will be working on this aspect! It's driving me nuts!

As for Matt, I haven't found what is working for him yet. We will use all the suggestions given and give it a good go.

I'll let you guys know if I've made any headway when I return!

bec

 

[darkskies]

i've been discussing the same with my therapist recently, or rather he was doing the talking as i'd already filtered off elsewhere! when i listened back to the tape (we've just started taping the sessions as my memory is awful and i dissassoiated during the sessions) he suggested trying to ground myself in the here and now not in your memories, by looking at your surroundings and telling yourself your safe.

e.g feel your feet on the floor, look up, what do u see? look at detail such as the parts of the pen in front of you, see the nib, the clip what colour it is? etc but also seeing where u are, the room, people etc concentrate on what u see or feel, touch things.
At the same time tell yourself you are safe, "it's"(trauma) not happening now, the man that looks similar just has the same hair cut or coat, it's not actually who u thought it was etc.
These all sound great in theory but trying to do them when your mind is shutdown is another thing. i've not managed to do all of them yet, but i find looking up instead of down starts the process in me zoning in again.

i find it hard to recognise before i zone out, when i do feel a change i can't seem to stop it but when i do realise i'm zoned out looking where i am does help me come back a little so i can tell someone who then can talk and distract me back to reality.