Does Beauty Come In A Bottle????

[ihateusernames]

@WildMermaid Hush, there is not a damn thing wrong with how you look. I don't even see any uneven features. I see beautiful eyes and red hair. I'm betting that's all most people see when they look at you.

I know what you're getting at, though.

We tend to see ourselves up close and as a hodgepodge of fragmented imperfect pieces. But that's not really how we look to others. We're just-- people.

 

[WildMermaid]

@ihateusernames my stepfather scarred me up pretty bad and broke my nose when i was young, so i have a lot facial insecurities lol. I usually don't let it stress me but too much time being down this week did wonders in the not so positive.

We tend to see ourselves up close and as a hodgepodge of fragmented imperfect pieces. But that's not really how we look to others. We're just-- people.

love that bit :)

 

[J_trustno1]

Oh my mum's bitch sister (pedophiles wife) made fun of my eyes too. She told me that my eyes look dopey and I looked sleepy all the time. But in fact that was what my eyes were like. My eyes aren't as big as that whore. Then she uses to force us to push our nail skin (nail cuticle and proximal nail fold )back despite them hurting and bleeding. The reason was, mine and my brother's nails are genetically smaller than theirs and only longer nails looked better.

See how cruel they were?

 

[Deleted member 1860]

Jess, its CRAZY what some consider beautiful!

In one culture, one feature can be considered "beautiful" while in another, that same feature is undesirable. And then there are the recent fads which people jump on because they want to be "beautiful" according to what society says is beautiful. (derriere implants, lip implants, etc) The sad thing is that these fads go out just as quickly as they came in. If you chase the standard of beauty....guess what? You'll ALWAYS be running after an unattainable standard. BUT, if you learn to love yourself, imperfections and all, you'll be miles ahead of the crowd.

I know I keep on coming back to the nose thing, but that has been my struggle to love....and I finally do! (Ok, so I think I mentioned the nose thing in another thread...) I had a friend in school who had a full 30 bend to her nose. All her life she was asked when she was getting it fixed. Her answer? "Uhm, I'm NOT!" Her nose made her beautiful and unique. She didn't want to blend in because she knew her nose was an asset that made her beautiful, even though it was not your Hollywood standard.

And have you read about those celebrities who alter their looks and their careers dry up? Jennifer Grey (80's movie star in Dirty Dancing, Ferris Bueller, etc) got a nose job and her job offers dried up. A simply nose job completely changed her look! Yes, she had a perfect hollywood nose, but suddenly nobody recognized her, and in movies, that's a huge part of why you get hired again.....recognizabilty! And have you seen Renee Zellweiger recently? Funny, nobody else has either :-/ She had major plastic surgery done and she looks nothing like herself. She was so quirky and unique. I'd be surprised if she works much in the future, and my guess is that it will affect the next Bridget Jones installment (if it comes to light?) People always want what they don't have..... I love my individuality and would be upset if I somehow lost that!

Be proud of who you are, J!

 

[J_trustno1]

Thanks @Solara. Your post was absolutely beautiful. Love you for writing on this thread :hug:s. I keep comparing myself to this pretty 20 year old girl my crush likes (idk if they are together ), I don't want change my individuality but I am still not coming in terms with the standards that were set for me:

Height : too short according to my father and others in the family.

Skin color : not as white as my brother.

Features: Certainly can never beat those pretty girls but at the same time I don't want to be beautiful with layers of makeup.

Stretch marks: which guy will like me for having stretch marks on lower abdomin, upper inner arms and back of the knees?

All these beauty standards have been affecting me for all these years that I never wore singlets because my arms had stretch marks. Never allowed my top to go up because I have stretch marks surrounding my belly and tummy. I don't know what to start accepting in myself first?

 

[Tinyflame]

@J_trustno1 , there's a story about an old man & a soldier (I think it was) who see a sumo wrestler-sized man go by. The man sees the goodness & beauty, the soldier calls him a 'fat pig' & asks the man how he could see that in him. The old man says to the soldier "all day I look at & am thankful for the beauty of creation, those are my thoughts. What do you think about?"

You can't escape miserable feedback from miserable people. Choose what you wish & like, & tune out the rest. :hug:

 

[Queen Boudica]

I wouldn't wear layers of foundation like that, it stops your skin breathing and in fact would make the pore problem worse. This woman was a sales lady. She was there trying to sell you product at an inflated price. Of course she would try and say you look so beautiful in make up and tell you you will age if you don't use this product. It is a sales spiel and, unfortunately they target the vulnerable.

I do wear a lot of eye makeup. My preference. Definitely not to everyone's taste. But that is because I thought of myself as so ugly for so long, and my eyes were the only thing I thought were good. So I just still highlight them. I used to think lipstick was good, I hate it now. I have thin lips and I thought lipstick would make them look better. It didn't.

Best thing to avoid aging is to avoid too much sun and wear an SPF moisturiser on your face. Not smoking which is really aging. The rest of the stuff is just techno babble by the make up companies.

At 27 you have beautiful young skin and that is the best thing. You don't need to cover it up. Just maybe if you want highlight a few features with a little makeup like you are doing with a bit of lippy or mascara or whatever your choice is. But it does not make you beautiful to wear make up. It is just what society has adopted recently. But there seems now to be a juxtaposition. Hollywood stars who use surgery to change every part of their body, or natural beauty. Personally I think natural wins over the obsessive need to look like a model is very monotonous. And you definitely can overdo make up and it sounds like this sales person did that. Good you didn't spend the money and had strength to recognise you don't need it.

 

[Ladyghosthunter]

Beauty comes from the heart, not your face or body. Whoever thought that being a stick figure is beautiful must be on crack or some other recreational medication. True beauty from your heart...but ugliness is to the bone.

 

[Britt.f7]

I wish I would have read this thread before I purchased two face creams, that were not inexpensive, with the hopes in improving my face. I am just not happy with it.

I like makeup, not foundation though. Accept now it covers my age spots or redness in my face. I like lipstick, and I normally wear mascara and eyeliner when I go out, as I have no lashes. Knew something was wrong with me when I stopped caring about the lipstick. Went many months without. Now I am back to lipstick and I am loving it. Purchased a red and posted it on face book, just my lips, and got compliments, so that was nice. Nothing wrong with wearing makeup, nothing wrong with not wearing it. Today I went out without eye makeup on and did just fine. My husband had no complaints.

I used to be that sales lady, within reason. I didn't have the highest sales in the department, but I had the lowest returns. You don't sell people things they are not comfortable with. Like people pushing me to buy eyebrow pencil because my brows are too light. I hated it. That lady was doing her job. Unfortunately she didn't take your concerns into consideration. Don't pay any attention to her. She doesn't count.

As far as your friend. She's entitled to her opinion. However, that doesn't make her right. I think the best looking person is the person who has become comfortable in his or her skin. Other's will pick up on that. With or without makeup.

Personally I like dark skin. I have rather pale skin. Your brother isn't better looking then you just because he is lighter. Don't listen to the naysayers.

To each his own. Now I just wish I could look in the mirror and not see the flaws, but it has been crazy as of late and that is all I can see. I was called big head when I was little. Now I'm older, overweight, and my face is fuller, so it brings back the old stuff. I really need to work through this self hate. It's costing me big money.

I wish you the best!

 

[WildMermaid]

My stepfather hated everything about my looks, bug eyed, fat, pale, eh. you name it. He let me know with nicknames and hate that I would always be ugly. As a girl that did not develop at all until late (14) I can say that guys I met before then thought all girls should be well endowed, and after I grew and grew boobs guys seemed to think girls were best without any. Then later it is was oh if only your hair were a bit more red (or darker, or blonder)-even from FRIENDS that i was not in any way involved with, if only your eyes had more green (or blue, or whatever) During a particularly brutal moment my long term high school boyfriend told me my eyes were the "color of baby poop" It stung, and it has joined the voices of self loathing in my head. He and I are actually pretty good friends now and he said that yeah he was an asshole. I did not disagree lol. >.< What I realized is that people are always looking for what they don't have and we just have to move on from the expectations of others.

We have to change our collective definition of beauty and as that changes year to year the challenge is on each of us. Lift each other up. Find something you DO like about you and try and replace the sh*t we've heard said about us. We can win this one one moment at a time.

Also if you enjoy makeup wear it! If face creams make you feel luscious use them! I do, I dig perfume and love soft silky skin, and find that tiny bit of pampering, makes me feel just the littlest bit special.

Beauty comes from the heart, not your face or body. ... True beauty from your heart...but ugliness is to the bone.

Here! Here!

 

[Ladyghosthunter]

I have hormonal issues but with all of the meds I'm taking, all I use is Retinol A cream you get from Puritan's Pride. Yes I put on makeup for concealment and other but rarely. However I do color my hair...is that makeup?

 

[WildMermaid]

@Ladyghosthunter i also wear makeup for concealment in dabs all over, but I wear it for fun too. Just a touch of mascara, sometimes a cat eye, blush, and lipgloss. Every once in a great while I get fancy with Urban Decay but it takes ages, and then I end up smearing it within minutes! p.s. coloring hair is fun, and a great way to change your surface self. I'm a fan. Heck my own mother preferred it when I dyed my hair raspberry to my natural color. *shrug* My daughter has deep dark lush hair, but it was black when she was a baby (my husband is half Basque), and now she enjoys dying it that color. I look it at as another form of self expression.