General Does Ptsd Dissasociate Someone Enough To Cheat?

[Deleted member 17302]

It feels so weird that just a few weeks ago we were happy together. She had me look over her group therapy papers to make sure they were going to take care of her well. She loved me and knew I was her guy. Then boom her personality shifts 180 and now is completely different. I just don't know how to understand this and how to move on.

 

[Bilby]

It is hard enough losing your kid, it sucks losing your partner that you love so much.

I can't even begin to imagine - the grief must be overwhelming :(

Have you spoken to your wife at all since she has been out of your home? I'm just wondering if she has been able to shed any light on any of this for you or shown any remorse?

I'm so sorry this is happening :(

 

[ggsparky]

Cheating is cheating. Sometimes ptsd makes people stop caring about other people because of being so rapped up I there problems but she's gotta take responsibility for her actions. Cheaters have no excuse for what they do.

 

[Never Give Up]

I have been married for 21 years and since my wife has finished with breast cancer treatments she told me she no longer wants to be married to me. I have my divorce papers now and she has decided to delay the divorce process while we both seek help from our pastor.

Our pastor sees no real biblical reason for the divorce which made my wife start thinking of ways to get out of it. She told me that she would consider having an affair if it would sever that biblical decision. Also, she said that she feels lonely, and has not had sex for a few months. I have always been available for her...but she insists that she is over with me and I am concerned that she will self-destruct if she commits adultery. We have been together since Jr. High and we both have committed to each other the whole time. I know it is out is out of my control but the sadness I see now is killing me also.

 

[DeedeeRSM]

Cheating is cheating, PTSD or not. Of course there might have been triggers, but for a person without PTSD there can be triggers to cheat as well, but it doesn't justify it does it?

It's still a choice, a conscious one. Because interacting with another human being while knowing you have a partner is a conscious action.

Many sufferers here would never cheat, and say so out loud. Those who do are the ones in my opinion, who like to blame their mental state to just let their lust drag them there. Trust me, I've had a cheating PTSD partner.

 

[Never Give Up]

I think at this time those feelings and heightened decisions have been put on the back burner. My wife wants to remain married and I think she is slowly realizing that having an affair would destroy our family. But, on the other hand she has taken off for the weekend and I do not know where she is. I assume that she is with her mother and just taking some time off from her 4 walls at home.

 

[BloomInWinter]

While cheating can be used as a drug, that doesn't mean it shouldn't be addressed.

Regardless of the cause, someone who will cheat on a partner is unlikely to change. It can happen, but the odds are against it. Someone cheats because of something inside of them, not because of any "lack" or "failing" on the partner's fault.

You deserve to protect yourself. You may decide to get STD testing to ensure you have not acquired a sexually-transmitted disease (STD.) You get to decide what you can live with and what is acceptable. You get to identify and communicate your own boundaries and you get to decide what the consequences will be should they be crossed.

Respect and protect yourself. Set your limits. If she wishes to get to be a part of your life, she'll abide by them. If not, you'll know where you stand and you get to decide what to do then. Also, you can always change your mind.

A respectful spouse does not disappear from their spouse's life with no notice because they wouldn't want the person they care about to worry. I'd never tolerate this in my life, nor would I ever think of doing this to my hubby, no matter how bad my symptoms were.

 

[Deleted member 17302]

I have been married for 21 years and since my wife has finished with breast cancer treatments she...

That is awful painful sounding. I'm going through this yet again. I was reading through these old posts and saw this and wanted to say I hope you are doing ok. I have no idea what is going on but if my ex / lady doesn't get help, she will surely die this time. She almost died last time and I was barely able to save her. She said if I didn't do the thing she hated me doing, she would have died. Now she is even further away in her mess and even more grief stricken as she said it feels brand new and it is killing her. If she comes back this time, I will have to be ultra vigilant and not sit back and trust that she is ok when she says she is but looks and acts as if she isn't. We never finished the books, or counseling, and meds she stopped taking a year ago without telling me. This time I will have to be better at it.

I have no idea why your wife would do what she did. It's been years, but still have no idea why a person can do that when they have a loving partner ready and willing more than anything to do anything in their power to make them feel happy again.