What Does Ptsd Feel Like For You?

[Adrian2016]

This barely scratches the surface. But I had to express it somehow. You guys might relate, if not, ple...

That was the best description of what we go through with ptsd that I have ever heard. You are a talented writer.

 

[Adrian2016]

Ptsd feels like exactly how you described it. I am drowning and my lungs are filling full of water, but my ghost is watching from the beach praying that I (the one drowning) have the good sense to just quit fighting before I waste my last moments trying to beat the inevitable.

 

[Deleted member 29920]

Hope you're ok @Saint Nik

 

[Deleted member 29920]

how ptsd feels

 

[blaze]

It feels like I'm a lonley paranoid deer walking around with his head down in the dark trying to avoid a world full of bright lights. (Metaphorically) like i can never be fully present anywhere for anyone..a part of me is trapped in the back of my mind curled up into a ball, overlooking everything and everyone..to make sure I'm safe. all lonley and desperate there with only enough energy left to survive..this might not make sense to anyone but I've never really been able to express myself "/

 

[Changing4Best]

Since I was traumatized in very early childhood, as well as again in my later years, I cannot really recall a time when I was NOT PTSD. So this is a hard question for me to answer, otherwise than to say that it has ruined my whole life. I feel as if I have been cheated out of a life that should have been mine, but never can be. All I can really do is cope, take my meds and pray for the best. However, often what happens in far from what I consider would be the "best" for me.

Therapy and the meds help, but again, they only help me to cope. I never feel really as if I am living life the way I would love to live it. I cannot even imagine what a "good" life would be for me. I have no clue. I just know that it is not the life I am living.

And that brings unshedable tears to my eyes.

 

[mary1979]

As @SheilaKathy said, I do not really know life before PTSD.

I would like very much to one day, meet me.

Here it feels like confusion. And fear. Deep guttural irrational fear.
Fear I cannot run away or hide from.

It feels like all these emotions, swirling in a circular fashion all meshing together in my head and engulfing my body in senses I cannot describe, or even name.

Like a deer caught in a headlight, frozen in place, with no instinctual ability to retreat or save itself.

And sometimes, it feels like nothing at all.
A black, heavy emptiness. Emotionless and blank. Dead.

 

[Blackjack]

And like @Mammo said above, plus the thoughts & images & feelings are ugly, like the...

@Junebug, can I ask you a question that might help me a bit??
From your words about the smell, fire and smoke on an airfield after a crash, is this something you have experienced? Please, if it is only talk about it if you are comfortable doing so. Only reason that I ask is that this is all tied in to my PTSD. Thank you so much

 

[Tinyflame]

Oh Dear @Blackjack ,I am so sorry. That was irresponsible of me, I have been post fire but without loss of life, & in other disasters (only).

I can only relay this though (since for me the ptsd started before any of those), the only thing I've noticed post-33-years with ptsd, is that if you (yourself) can get some of those images smells (etc) 'out' (in words or some way), & if also you can come to learn & speak of the guilt/ thoughts/ emotions/ beliefs that rose from it, about yourself or your role as well, you may find it healing. (In other words, do not feel because your trauma-type isn't specifically mentioned as often here that the ptsd is different, it's not. And the ptsd is ultimately the root to address, as it were. Different traumas, same troubles later. )

Peace to you. :hug:

ETA, there is a difference between how ptsd feels, & how you feel about yourself. The first we seem to experience similarly, then there is that which is specific to your own experience.

:hug:

 

[Deleted member 12723]

I am no longer at the beginning of just being diagnoses and it was a living hell for so many years of my life. Now I am almost to the point where I am learning to manage symptoms but the damn anxiety I do not fare so well on the worst days, the nightmares as occasional as they now are still throw me. When I am stressed out it is harder to manage and some days I just have a pajama day where I pamper myself all day. Not a need for them as much as I once did. Feeling fatigued and worn out slows me down.

I still get caught off guard with some people and that really messes me up. So lots of room for improvement. Trying to stay positive is still a challenge but i have more good days than bad now.

I could relapse into more uncovered drama and will deal with if it comes.