I feel weird posting on this thread about my own personal journey into the heart of the Trump phenomenon... but I kind of need this outlet right now. You all have been a huge support to me just by your discussion of this whole mess with Trump and everyone who is falling head over heads for him.
I am in the bowels ( :poop: and all) of a contested state convention of a party that annoys me to tears, just to vote against him. Today I met party officials flying in from other states today to get involved in what's happening here. People are seeing it as a sign of what is to come at the national convention.
Some of what I have been told makes me want to scream. Some of it I can not legally share yet, due to shitty non-disclosure agreements. Like I feel so... I dunno. Just disgusted. This isn't my first time around the block in the political world, but I've never been so deep in and among such crap.
I am kind of really pissed. And I'm finding so many other delegates that are pissed too.
We have a chance to make our voice heard loud. So if the party does what they say they will do, they will know they did it against the will of the people. Again. And it doesn't stop here...
Anyhow, I'm seeing all this anger around me. Today, in the two hours I was immersed in all of this, I stood up again and again and again... to confront nastiness with kindness. Am I a fool?
Someone very high up in the GOP said something nasty to me. I was dumbfounded. I asked someone next to me, that felt rude, was that rude, or...? It's wise for me to get this sort of reality check right now... I was told by a long time party member "it was rather offensive. That's how they play this game (justmehere)." The guy then said something I can't repeat, because it's too specific.... but it was ... um. Imagine talking to Trump and he doesn't like you. It was that level of comments being flung at me.
What I did next, I can't share details yet. I'm so shocked by what I did. I turned on my phone on voice record because I didn't know what was gonna happen next. I can say I publicly responded with pretty overt kindness to the jerk. I didn't bend over and give in, I simply asked him to join me in respectful treatment of those we may not agree with on everything. I did it in a really key and public place, in a really um... I have been told I was pretty gutsy. I felt like a fool. I just couldn't take it anymore.
I also know there is only one person that has been able to silence trump himself, and it was a woman who had been torn down by him. Someone sent me the clip last night, and it was on my mind today. I tried to follow the one example of someone silencing Trump that I have ever come across.
Trump insulted Carly Florina's looks in a debate, and her only response was, "I think women all over this country heard very clearly what Mr. Trump said." Then she moved on. Trump dropped the subject in the debate. No one else has ever been able to get him to do that.
I did something kind of like what she did - I'm not a fan of Carly, but I thought what she did was intriguing. I also asked the person if they would be willing to engage in thoughtful and respectful discourse instead of his current path. I know. I'm an idealistic fool. What were my other choices? Silence was an option, being a jerk back was also an option. I'm sure there were others... I did what I did, idealistic and all... And I did it publicly. I risked that either him or me was going to look like a fool, and probably both of us.
The guy.... he turned bright red. BRIGHT red. His hands were shaking. I am so shocked. This guy from DC who was being such a brash a---hole to all these local people and state delegates. I thought he was tough as nails. I start talking, making an idealistic fool of myself to kindly as him to engage in respectful discourse.... and he suddenly turns red.
I felt so bad. I didn't want him to be embarrassed, I just wanted him to realize he was being an ass and only fueling all the dysfunction by being so nasty. And to stop it.
I said, "It's easy to get caught up in all the emotion and anger right now. Let's do this a different way. Right here right now, let's start with..... Deal?" And I held out my hand to shake his.
He shook my hand, and left so fast....
My phone has been blowing up all afternoon.
This whole non-violent resistance thing, it worked in this moment. Ok, All I was going was using non-violent communication techniques to talk to a mini-Trump.... I could have argued back, I could have pushed back. Oh, I can get FEISTY, if I really want to... and I WANTED to. But it would have made me just like him. Instead, I used years of therapy and working with feisty foster care kids and my general unimpressed attitude towards authority figures to be a rebel against all the crap.
It was so hard. And I really didn't mean for him to get nervous...
This approach to Trump and Trump-like people is not popular, and it's not going to change much in terms of the election, but I will be able to stand up and not give in to Trump-like behavior, in all it's forms. That shit is not gonna be popular in my heart and life. So, I win Trump. No matter what, I win. Because I will do all I can to never be like him or his followers.
(If only I could have this response to my abusers messages in my head....)
Thanks for letting me vent about my weird weird day trying to deal with the Trump effect. Only 3 more days of this to go and then I'm done!
