General Don't Educate Yourself!?

[clare]

There's been alot of threads about bad therapists and what not to say. My question involves both. My 10 y/o son (recently hospitalized for PTSD/depression) is now on his 4th therapist, 1 retired, 1 quit, 1 was fired. I asked for a trauma expert. I met with the new therapist yesterday. She has 3 years experience and admittedly not an "expert".
I have no insurance and therefore little choice in making a better match for my son. One remark she made that I found disheartening was that I "should'nt try to become an expert on PTSD". I explained that having PTSD myself, I am to some extent self-educated on the subject. She said that because symptoms can be very different for children, it would be best left to an expert. I rationalized that having skills for emotional first aid at least is important for the safety of our whole family and that since I have been repeatedly denied access to "expert" help, I feel it necessary to learn as much about my son's condition as possible. With that she advised further inpatient hospitalization-"call 911". I'm fully aware of the necessity and procedure for safety/stabilization, I only want to be a part of my son's treament plan-a real treatment plan. Up 'til now he's only had truancy trackers and psych-med RN's. Should I back off or push for a treatment plan?

 

[ISupportHer]

My Two Cents

I am just one person, but I feel you need to advocate for your son and follow your "gut". I mean, you can't just discount the advice your receive but I feel knowledge is power. From my personal perspective, I cannot simply follow blindly. Even though that can be frustrating when not able to fully participate as I would like.

I think are right to try to remain involved. The trick is to find a way to do it without becoming an adversary to the "professional".

 

[Nicolette]

Hi Clare

I can't remember everyone off the top of my head but perhaps you could send Bec (Becvan) a PM as her son has PTSD. She has some really great views and thoughts which may be able to help you.

 

[becvan]

Received pm and answered. Thanks for suggesting it Nicolette! :occasion:

No backing off. PUSH, PUSH, PUSH!

Rest is in the pm. :)

bec

 

[ISupportHer]

Just Checking In

It's been a week since your post and I just wanted to let you know you were still in the back of my mind. Not asking for details or anything, just that I think about you and your son. Your situation just kind of struck a nerve for me.

 

[evergreen]

Wow, I really feel for you! *hugs*

By any chance was your son a victim of a crime? I know that sounds funny, but I had my therapy paid for by the state Victim's of Crime Board. They covered up to $25,000 for loss of pay or therapy needed. I am just trying to help you come up with financial solutions for a quality therapist.

If you feel anyone is trying to make decisions about your child or trying to control what is done for your child and it does not feel right, it is not right. I totally understand the tough situation you are in of wanting to do what is right for your son and not having many options. My recommendation would be to find the therapist you want for your son..no matter the location or cost..and then find a way to make it happen. Where there is a will, there is a way. Let me know if you need any help in finding ways to finance his therapy because I am very creative in finding ways and would offer all the help I can give.

 

[clare]

Thanks everyone,

Check your PM's

I think it's obvious that this dream I had sums up my frustration: I'm standing on the side of a lake and my son is in deep water there and struggling. There are lifeguards, EMTs, pro swimmers and many others with me on the shore. I tell them I can't swim, I not strong enough to save him. He's screaming for help and they're just watching in a sort interested but passive way. I yell at them to do someting. In turn they start talking, "how did he get n the water-was he pushed in?", "are you sure he doesn't know how to swim?", "If we leave him alone, he'll float towards the shore". Recently my son, who has never heard about my dream, told me he "died in his dream". I asked "what happened, how, are you sure you really died?" He said "I drowned, but I wasn't sad because I saved some others before I did, and I watched them from heaven and they were OK, so actually it was a good dream."

I sometimes feel out of place on the carers chat because it's so focused on adults relationships and the "should I stay or should I go?" problems. Having a child with PTSD doesn't compare. I don't have the option to stay or go. Therapies and techniques adults use don't always translate well for children. I have read that sexual trauma before puberty can cause severe long-term problems (Trauma Through A Childs Eyes, Levine and Kline) what I haven't read is what to do about them?

Despite the warnings of a rather inexperienced social worker I will continue to educate myself. I will continue to seek the highest level of services-if I have to use legal threats to obtain them, so be it. I feel I must do everything to help my son-I must learn how to swim.

Thanks,

clare

 

[amethist]

Hi Clare

You do exactly what you need to do for your son.

I know I am a carer for a grown man, but I do understand what you are saying with this, as it was like looking after a scared child to begin with, it still is occasionally.

My husband wanted help but did not ask loud enough so no one listened except me, so to start with he was basically fobbed off with "Don't worry you will be fine". So I yelled, kicked, screamed and almost kicked doors down to get him the right treatment and help he needed.

So Don't let someone who does not know your son like you do tell you not to learn.

You do what's right for you and your son.

Amethist

 

[becvan]

Clare I think your dream is probably the best description of how you are being treated. Unfortunately it's very common when trying to treat children.

Do what you have to do and do what you KNOW is right. We, as parents, have a much bigger burden to bare here. If we don't do everything in our power, learn everything we can and try to help in anyway possible, we can be held for being neglectful and yet we get this crap from therapists who don't know any better.

Learn how to swim. It's the only way through this.

bec