Sufferer Don't Know How To Control My Anger

[Loneliness]

Thank you all for your support and suggestions. It was her idea to try this out in all honestly. I know that she cares an loves me after everything that I have put her through she stays by my side. I just want to be able to feel and act like a normal person again.

Thank you all again I can't tell you how much it helps to know that I'm not the only one that is battling with these issues. I didn't think that this would help but, I was totally wrong thank you all again.

 

[HighwayToHell]

Well she's a smart girl then isn't she? No doubt she has told you that you should listen to her more often!

How are you feeling now?

 

[Loneliness]

I feel much better knowing that I'm not the only one going through all of this. I am going to try and control my anger and anxiety better so I don't take it out on people that are in no way shape or form responsible for my emotions.

 

[HighwayToHell]

Very brave of you but don't expect miracles off yourself either.

We were all talking earlier about the need for you to get some professional help. Are you able to access a Psychiatrist or Theerapist on base? Can the Chaplain help get you an appointment with a professional?

 

[WillThereBeCake]

Welcome and thank you for your service. The others have given you a lot of good info. I have found Anthony's Cup analogy (in the notes - check it out) to be a big help. Because of our anger, it is sometimes hard for us to form complete thoughts, let alone complete sentences when we are overloaded. I have explained all this to my husband and now I only have to say, "My cup is full" and that is the cue that I need help. It might be that I need to unload about something emotional, or I just need help unloading the dishwasher. He just asks, "What can I do?"

Sometimes, I just need some alone time, and he doesn't get mad or offended, he just says, "Go for it" and takes care of the house for a few minutes, a few hours, or a few days, how ever long it takes me to snap back. I've learned a lot of good grounding technique here, so now it usually just takes me a few minutes, or maybe a half hour to get re-centered, but the most important thing is that he doesn't take it personally and knows that it has nothing to do with him.

Read as much of the stuff here as you can and share with your GF. Have her read it too if she can. It saves so much time and emotion since you don't have to try to explain things that sometimes you just can't. It has also freed my husband from the notion that he should try, or even could "fix" me. He now knows that he can, and does. help in a big way, but that this isn't his fault and is bigger than both of us. Rather than feeling hopeless, that is amazingly helpful as it actually outlines what his "job" is and he can do it, do it well, and not feel guilty or hopeless as far as his participation is concerned. I hope that made sense in some way.

Again, welcome and also to your GF who is now part of this silly family too.

 

[Loneliness]

Where we are located there is a combat stress team that comes but it's only a couple of days in the month. My GF has been amazing through everything and she tries to understand and she is actually the one that introduced me to this site. She has been researching PTSD and its effects on not only the person but on our relationship. She has read about how she can support me and how to handle everything.

I was in denial for a long time that there was something wrong with me. It actually took her being there for me to finally break down and cry. We were at the beach for the 4th of July weekend and I went for a run and a firework went off and it sent me back to a horrible place. I was sweating and crying curled up in a ball and she reassured me that I was gonna be ok and that nothing was gonna hurt me. She suggested that I get professional help then but like any stubborn man does i blew it off and tried to handle it on my own. As of right now it isn't in the cards but, as soon as I get back from this place I am definitely going to get professional help. Also when the stress team comes I am going to try and talk to them again.

 

[Springer80]

Hi Lonliness,

I just wanted to say that your GF sounds like a diamond...and you do too, cos now you know what's going on your seeing the chaplain and accepting help and carrying out you GF's suggestions and talking it through with her and planning on seeing someone when your circumstances allow. I mean really, under very tough conditions you are doing all you can, so I just wanted to let you know that as others have done, so you can feel better about yourself.

Something I found helpful in understanding where my personality and actions were and where the behavior from ptsd was looking into the physiology and neuroscience/nervous system effects of the condition. It helps you realize where you stop and where the condition starts. When I was doing this I found a guy called Saplosky (Robert) an US neuroscientist and gave a lecture on anger and the amygdala and how its constructed differently in men and women.

Anyway, I think your doing really well and all the best for you and your GF..:)

PS...Maybe the combat stress team could explain the neuro biology behind it?

 

[Springer80]

PPS...He looks great...just the kinda guy you'd take science advise from (he's he one on the right).

[DLMURL]http://ts2.mm.bing.net/th?id=H.4995825290315861&pid=15.1[/DLMURL]

Well that and the Stanford superstar lecturer qualifications too!

 

[I Can Do This]

Something I found helpful in understanding where my personality and actions were and where the behavior from ptsd was looking into the physiology and neuroscience/nervous system effects of the condition.

I COMPLETELY agree! I think understanding my brain and how it works has given me more tools and understanding than traditional therapy ever could - I feel empowered by that knowledge. By understanding our brain, the mystery of our symptoms are taken away and we see them as survival responses. We don't have to be victimized any longer by what we don't understand - and instead take control over this gift we were given and use it t our advantage instead.

 

[Springer80]

Totally agree, and the lifting of the guilt and confusion and distress as understood all the scrapes I'd gotten into and how it had affected my life and what I thought of my self. I cried alot from the sheer relief and I could grieve for things I thought were my fault. It's not just the mind, but the hormonal and nervous mechanisms too.

In terms of you anger Loneliness, I think the frustration at yourself will lessen greatly once who get whats going on. I imagine too that once who have it digested it would be information that you and your GF could use to further strengthen your position on the condition and your relationship and as you feel less guilty about it all, hopefully you will be able to be more open about it.

My best wishes...:)

 

[I Can Do This]

how it had affected my life and what I thought of my self. I cried alot from the sheer relief and I could grieve for things I thought were my fault. It's not just the mind, but the hormonal and nervous mechanisms too

Preaching to the choir! So good to find another who sees this from the same point of view! We are not our thoughts, feelings, or bodily sensations, they are our instruments to connect with our mind and body - WE are the ones that observe it all.

 

[Springer80]

I think in the military though this view must be quite a difficult thing to have people consider. Not exactly in the training manual I suspect.

I used to imagine another layer to my anatomy, that was like an electric fence, bright blue like a fly zapper machine that people couldn't see and in order to carry on as normal I effectively had to push my self up against it, except it was like a 360 suit.