Don't Know

[Crow]

T suggested I attend a DBT group about five months ago and I've been going every week since. It's a very loose structure. The facilitator does about 8 during the week and clients can go to any of the groups. She also jumps around the curriculum. That gets confusing.

I haven't liked the facilitator-T since I interviewed with her but I immediately found great benefit in the material. So I've kept attending.

I notice a pattern though. I go to group and end up wanting to harm or disappear when I leave. At first I thought it may be the other members so I changed the day I attended. Then I thought it was me and defenses of being vulnerable. But Saturday I realized it's the facilitator-T. She's snarky and sarcastic. I think very passive aggressive honestly.

I think tomorrow I'll talk to T about finding another group/facilitator. The work has really helped me but getting suicidal after each group doesn't work for me.

 

[MissKB]

The work has really helped me but getting suicidal after each group doesn't work for me.

I think you just made a great statement. I have found that a quality of the T can make a huge difference. Many T's are not geared to trauma issues. They may handle depression per say but not trauma and there is a big difference. I always thought DBT would help but I was just given the handbook one time but no counseling with it. I tried to lead myself through it but it was really just a bust.

Good luck in finding a better facilitator.

 

[Seasounds]

Good, and smart idea!

The facilitator's attitude really affects everyone. Being in a group, with one of the leaders speaking in sarcastic language is not respectful, and the language is usually anger, hidden in passive aggressive words. It totally makes sense that you left with increased self-harm, or 'need to disappear' feelings.

Inspiring!

 

[Friday]

Darn straight!

Job well done on assessing, trying something different, reevaluating, and then not throwing the baby out with the bathwater! Very well done, indeed :)

 

[StellaBlue]

You are being both skillful and effective in recognizing that it's the therapist not the program that's triggering you. To me, there are a couple of red flags about this therapist - first that she is running 8 "drop in" groups (seems like a lot of groups and a little chaotic on who will be in any given group on any given day) with no obvious itinerary of going through the modules individually (I think the ER, DT, and IR modules can be taken in any order with the Mindfulness module repeated after each one - but while the modules 'overlap' in many ways, they should be completed without jumping around from one to another). And then, there's the attitude. My understanding is that validation is one of the foundations of DBT. Sarcasm is never validating.

I believe that DBT has saved my life. I know that it may not be for everyone, but I suspect that folks that say they've tried it and couldn't get it may have had an unskillful facilitator or therapist. It took me a long time to believe another one of DBT's foundational - the client can never fail...the therapist can fail or the therapy can fail...but the client can not.

I echo @FridayJones...Very Well Done!