I did stuff, small amount, made me feel real a bit, however I just don't like myself right now so I'm sure that's a huge part of this. I keep thinking maybe if I had the time to hibernate a week and not try so hard, if I had the luxury to do that, but having a routine helps me. I just feel tired all the time. I know I have to endure, that I can endure and that is my only way of getting through this. It's gonna suck but what I've already been through sucked worse so why does it feel so impossible now. I'm safe. I should be happy.