Dont Want To Shut Down

[Jnean]

Starting to shut down. I am coming to grasp being abused in someway as an infant. I really didn't want to discover this. Broke down and cried alot. I'm very saddened. Hard to cope with these thoughts that are flooding my head. Had head pain and these thoughts for sure for only four whole days. Everything before four days ago were thoughts of child sexual abuse and many body sensations. all that I want to do is crawl into a hole and cry. My body sensations are uncool right now! I feel something's I'm uncomfortable with. I may need to call that hotline. I feel embarrassed and ashamed about my thoughts and feelings, it's hard to share but I know I shouldn't shut down. I think I know what I need to do in order to cope until I see my therapist in a few days. But for now I feel terribly saddened. I hate this. Sorry.

 

[joeylittle]

@Jnean - there's nothing to apologize for. You're hurting and this is a place to share about that. Try and remember, those feelings of shame are symptoms - I don't mean they aren't real, but I mean that they aren't rational. You have nothing to be ashamed of, no matter what it was. Your pain is real, and letting it out instead of bottling it up will help you. If you need to call crisis, please do - or keep posting here, if that feels like a good outlet.

I think I know what I need to do in order to cope until I see my therapist in a few days.

This is good, and really good to hear you say it. It's only about that. Coping is managing, and managing is the best to expect from yourself when you are going through tough stuff. You don't need to expect yourself to be OK. What are some of those coping skills that work for you?

 

[Jnean]

Right now having my cat on my lap and my dog beside me. Thank you so much for your reply, it did help me not feel so far away.

 

[Mytime]

We are all here for you. If you feel like talking about anything maybe try the live chat.

 

[Jnean]

thank you

 

[Mytime]

Jnean I'm going into live chat if you would like to join me.