My boyfriend and I have been separated for three weeks now and I'm starting to drive myself crazy thinking that he is just moving on but I know it's not true. We separated because he admitted and he has PTSD and needs help. He said he needed time for himself and to do his own thing and that it wasn't for him to see other people. But I'm driving myself crazy. We still talk almost on a daily basis through texts he tells me where he's going or where he's with or with who if I ask and his mom told me our pictures and stuff are still up around the house(along with some other things I had left). Am I just being paranoid and worrying for no reason?
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Relationship Driving Myself Nuts
- Post starter LostOne83
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Springer80
Diamond Member
Ptsd is very physically and sensorially demanding and this puts strain and distress on your emotions and wears down your mental health. I think you worrying about there being someone else is unfounded.
He's probably just absolutely worn out and disorientated. If he cant manage a relationship with you, I reckon the last thing he would do is put himself in a situation that requires more of the same with someone else.
He's probably just absolutely worn out and disorientated. If he cant manage a relationship with you, I reckon the last thing he would do is put himself in a situation that requires more of the same with someone else.
Justmehere
Sponsor
I don't see any red flags or signs of him moving on. Not one.
That being said, this is a shift in your relationship, and perhaps you are feeling some natural separation anxiety and adjustment related anxiety.
I recommend doing all you can to keep moving forward in other areas of your own life, and connecting with friends, a counselor, and in time, hopefully you will get settled into this new rhythm in your relationship with him. This is so easy to say, but very hard to do - be as kind to yourself as you can be as you adjust.
That being said, this is a shift in your relationship, and perhaps you are feeling some natural separation anxiety and adjustment related anxiety.
I recommend doing all you can to keep moving forward in other areas of your own life, and connecting with friends, a counselor, and in time, hopefully you will get settled into this new rhythm in your relationship with him. This is so easy to say, but very hard to do - be as kind to yourself as you can be as you adjust.
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- #4
I know it's just my own anxiety getting the best of me. And I definitely know it has to do with being separated when I'm used to seeing him everyday. I've been talking to his mom(who I am very close with) and I mentioned to her that if he wanted to move on he would have just let me go and went on with his life and wouldn't have been willing to go to the VA and proceed with trying to get treatment.
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- #5
Here's An update, we spoke today for a few minutes this morning because he's not really allowed to use his phone while he's at work and he actually asked me questions about me! I was shocked, this is the first time in a month that when I have asked him how he was that he asked me the same back and asked me some other questions about work. I know it may seem such a minute thing but I'm happy. I had explained to him a few weeks ago that it would be nice if maybe he'd asked about me once in a while cuz it would show me he cared and today is the first time he actually did it! Hope we are going steps in the right direction!
Totally understand why you are so happy with that. Small things to other people in (for want of a better word) normal relationship mean so much to me.
My PTSD bi polar boyfriend left 3 months ago, after what seemed to me to be a silly row but it obviously tipped him over the edge. He didn't not contact me for 2 weeks then slowly but surely he seems to be coming back. He would respond to my texts, then me met up a few times for coffee, this progressed to a night out, then last weekend we went away for two nights. He has started to instigate text conversations with me in between meetings, had asked me what I'm up to (which he had not done till recently) and he asked me to go out tomorrow night, he's choosing what we do, this is quite a big thing in its self as even when we were together he very rarely took the initiative and planned dates! Although it's not perfect I take each step forward as a victory and you should do too. I'm not niaeve enough to think we won't have a few bumps and set backs in the coming months but I do know that it would have been so much easier for me to walk away but my patience, understanding, unconditional love and consistent support is paying off.
I too do my own head it, he's out tonight and I've had a little panic but like someone else said... If they can't cope with a relationship with us how could they cope pursuing another one. Beside... I'm not sure there would be many people that would put up with the ups and downs this type of relstionship can bring x
My PTSD bi polar boyfriend left 3 months ago, after what seemed to me to be a silly row but it obviously tipped him over the edge. He didn't not contact me for 2 weeks then slowly but surely he seems to be coming back. He would respond to my texts, then me met up a few times for coffee, this progressed to a night out, then last weekend we went away for two nights. He has started to instigate text conversations with me in between meetings, had asked me what I'm up to (which he had not done till recently) and he asked me to go out tomorrow night, he's choosing what we do, this is quite a big thing in its self as even when we were together he very rarely took the initiative and planned dates! Although it's not perfect I take each step forward as a victory and you should do too. I'm not niaeve enough to think we won't have a few bumps and set backs in the coming months but I do know that it would have been so much easier for me to walk away but my patience, understanding, unconditional love and consistent support is paying off.
I too do my own head it, he's out tonight and I've had a little panic but like someone else said... If they can't cope with a relationship with us how could they cope pursuing another one. Beside... I'm not sure there would be many people that would put up with the ups and downs this type of relstionship can bring x
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- #7
I wish him and I were closer to maybe be able to meet up but unfortunately we are miles away. I'm hoping to maybe go to him for a long weekend to visit and see how things go, as I had brought up coming back home already only two weeks into our separation and he told me I don't know yet. Kind of stupid on my part as to see it had only been two weeks, but me being how I am thought it was long enough lol. I'm going to bring the visit up to him in the next few weeks and see what he thinks. Wish me luck!
I wish you all the luck in the world! I have everything crossed. I know what you mean, it takes losing something to realise its true value. I miss my partner so much and wish everything was back to normal with him being here in the home we created but I know that can't happen yet, it had to be when he's ready and that's if it happens at all :(
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