Other Drug Addiction /intro

[marinevetwife]

Anything that alters your state of mind/body is a drug.. but it starts with the mind first.

My husband, 28, has been feeding his marijuana addiction over the course of about 5 years & it's only getting worse! It's been weighing heavy on my heart lately, because it's gotten to the point of him over-spending & chain-smoking. It started as an occassional thing to do here and there for pleasure, but ever since he obtained it for recreational use (a year ago), he abuses the privilege. I've argued with him about it numerous times & I hate to see him like this because he's an intelligent man with potential to do greater things in life. My concern comes with guilt as well, because I condone his bad habit, understanding it helps with his anxiety, but also aware that it's just a temporary fix.

Don't get me wrong, I love my husband very much.. but I want to shed some light on the bigger issue - what it's doing to subject our family from tearing apart. He suffers from PTSD & smoking marijuana helps alleviate some of the negative thoughts into a more controlled state, and it also calms his nerves from the anxiety. It helps him sleep better, gives him energy to cook, helps with his memory.. just to name a few.. These are great benefits for him, but more importantly, it hinders major priorities as far as our children's education & family activities. It's eating our dreams of starting a business & delaying our goals to succeed.

I'm a pretty understanding woman & I'm not throwing in the towel.. I just want better. We gotta do better for our kids.. for ourselves.. for the ones watching.. our friends & families.. our neighbors. You know?

 

[IamFree]

Yes this sounds like my sister it helps her function better with some everyday things but in other areas it is catastrophic . She has lost her children and I have had to distance my self from her because I found her completely unmanageable and it was having an adverse affect on my life...marujana is bad news for relationships.

 

[IamFree]

Yes this sounds like my sister it helps her function better with some everyday things but in other area...

I would just like to add she has no inclination to seek help and work on the problem its very heartbreaking

 

[marinevetwife]

I would just like to add she has no inclination to seek help and work on the problem its very heartbrea...

Yes this sounds like my sister it helps her function better with some everyday things but in other area...

I agree. It's important to distance yourself from toxic relationships, but from personal experience with my older sister (currently in rehab).. I've learned that they always come back asking for help. Whether it's been a few months or a few years, the issue was never really resolved.. it was just prolonged (even got worse). It ain't for the faint of heart.

 

[IamFree]

yes what hurts the most as that its not that we dont love these people we despratly want them to be ok ...i used to say i was not strong enough to have her in my life i dont know what other word to use...i just did not have the empowerment or tools to do anything..what does it mean to be strong enough to have such a thing in your life how strong do you need to be. ..i hope things go well with your husband many people are capable of change i was an addict to and I came through.

 

[Tornadic Thoughts]

Has he acquired any other tools to use to help manage symptoms that he really digs and that is also a healthy(ier) more nurturing option? I found that it takes one heck of a village of healers and feelers, along with a very kind and patient husband, for me to maintain any semblance of balance in my thoughts and actions, and it can still be a crap shoot some days.

The various tools I've found that helps my particular struggles the most include, but aren't limited to: deep breathing techniques (they were/are nothing short of miraculous in helping reel in my anxiety levels), drastic diet changes to a vegan lifestyle (also lost 110 lbs), hand drumming, Native American flute, a speed bag/punching bag, nature time, primal screaming into my pillow, neuroptimal neurofeedback, intermittent talk therapy, a mini-trampoline, hula-hoops (I make my own), sound therapies with Tibetan singing bowls and gongs, massage therapy, journaling, chiropractic work, acupuncture, and working with a master herbalist in her apothecary to learn more about teas, oils, and tinctures and such.

These are things I found after trying the most highly suggested routes paid for through my insurance company that, more often than not, seemed to harm me more than help me. I found my exercise equipment and musical instruments for both free and next to nothing by placing ads on social media and craigslist, along with a lot of my kitchen equipment that supports my plant-based eating (juicer, food processor, yonanas machine, vitamix). I'm a penny pincher and thrift store whisperer who refuses to buy anything new unless it's an absolute necessity.

I'm incredibly fortunate to live in an area that created a time bank and supports and encourages bartering in some of the local communities. Without that option, I'd never be able to even think of partaking in many of those things I listed. The breathing and eating are the two things that continue to amaze me. I always thought I had that breathing thing under control, if nothing else, especially since I was still upright and still breathing. lol I had no clue we could tap into our own wellness that easily, that readily, and that inexpensively. Diaphragmatic and alternate nostril are two of my absolute favorites, but there's many more. I learned a lot about it at You Tube University after being introduced to it by a re-birthing specialist.

I'm thinking maybe he could try to fill in some gaps with fun nurturing things that are naturally therapeutic that can make him genuinely look forward to doing them again and again, then maybe somehow he could incorporate the smoking (beyond what he needs to feel relief and arrive at his baseline of functioning) as type of a personal reward for following through with nurturing self. That has been the most beneficial thing I have done for myself, thus far, I feel. Make things fun, affordable, accessible, and simple. Otherwise, I get lost in my mind and fall back into my extended stays in the depressive/analysis/paralysis ditches. Mind you, I still land there some days, and I've also learned that I simply, at times, may need that day or two in the ditch to recoup and regroup. But the extended stays have been greatly lessened along the way.

Wishing you both much relief in figuring ways around the struggles.