Dumb Things People Say

[Lisa]

Things people say that make me want to SCREAM....

In therapy:

• A few years back, after talking about how desperate I felt, she says "So, really.... what you're trying to say is....actually, you're really quite depressed at the moment." Congratulations on graduating from parrot school.

After being sexually assaulted

• "Well, you were lucky... it could have been much worse" -Oh, **** Off. When people say this in response to telling them you have just been through a sexual assualt, they really mean "I don't know what to say to make it better, so I'll tell them it's a good thing".
• "Well, it's a lesson to be learned". Yeah, thanks a bunch.
• "Oh My God, Are You Okay?!" - Urm... no? But at least these comments convey concern, which is more than I can say for the others.
• "Well... you'll feel a bit weird for a couple of days, but then you'll forget all about it".
• "But you know you shouldn't wander off with strangers!". Yeah... thanks I didn't need the reminder. It always strikes me as odd how people usually say something in terms of what I should and shouldn't do, feel or have done - yet most people say nothing about the person who committed the crime.
• And the worst of all... "......[silence]....." Until *I* have to change the subject!

In a psychiatric hospital

• "But you're so young, what are YOU depressed about?"
• "Well, at least you self-harm in private, which is more than I can say for some in here".

About PTSD, depression, anxiety, or any kind of personal struggle

• "But why can't people just solve their own problems like the rest of us?"
• "Get on with it"
• "So don't worry about it..." - Gee, I hadn't thought of that! Thanks! Not.
• "Think of famine. There's always someone worse off". Yes, and that's true... and I agree it's good to know and appreciate that - but that doesn't solve my problem or make mine any easier.

 

[Britt.f7]

In a psychiatric hospital after I just od'd and my stomach was upset, a nurse asked me if I thought I was pregnant. I was 17. I suppose I could have been pregnant(though not a chance) and she didn't know that, but she was quite snide about it. Plus, my stomach was probably rotted from all the pills that had been in there.

Non PTSD related: I ended up in the emergency room on Christmas day, my sis in law, who knew this, still left a message on our answering machine asking when we were going to be at there house.

Then, when that same visit turned into several overnight stays, I was placed on the cardiac ward. The next day they were suppose to put in a cardiac implant, when the night nurse came in and said "oh, you're still here?".

People can be insensitive.

 

[Britt.f7]

After my suicide attempt:

Do you know what you did to your mother?
Why did you do this to get attention?
You're such a pretty girl, why would you do this?

 

[TwoDee2ThreeDee]

"She'll be ok. She's a survivor. She'll bounce right back"

 

[DharmaGirl]

Oh, Britt, what unfeeling people. When I was in the hospital last year, (one of the many times), they were changing my medications daily and I was going nuts. It was awful. I ended up hurting myself pretty badly since I couldn't control my impulses and the nurses kept asking me why. Because the docs tortured my brain with medications? I don't know.

 

[Britt.f7]

It seems common to us, not to them. Sometimes I just want to say duh! I'm sorry you had to go through that!

 

[Whitneys story]

@Britt.f7 JMHO, people are stupid and ignorant. This is a great thread! Reminds me why I am who I am.

There is no excuse for either. We might be surrounded by them, I personally will not accept/allow them in my space or my head.

I had been through a 3 year medical situation with my husband who had a brain tumor. I cared for him at home. His sister and brother were arrested for Grand theft. They wanted me to sign a bond to get them out of jail. They needed beer money! I said no.

His family planned a very expensive funeral and said they would pay for half. I think this was the fist time I used the 5 second rule.

The funeral home called a couple months after the funeral. Stating the bill must be paid, or they would need to bring him to my house.

"I know you have a job to do, but if you would please put him in the backyard; the neighbors might complain"~ Me.

The family never paid and I have not spoken to them in 36 years. Of course there were many issues. Family does not give privilege, respect must be earned by others.

We all have Human Rights! ((((((((((Britt)))))))))) :hug: Whitney

 

[Whitneys story]

Lisa, Welcome to the forum! Hugs if you accept them. Whitney

 

[DharmaGirl]

After my suicide attempt:

After my suicide attempt last year, the friend's mom my son stayed with wrote me a note. Our families have known each other for 10 years. The note described what my son went through that night. It was horrifying and I felt really bad. Every time I have serious SI now, I read it. Stops me in my tracks. Is it good or bad? Both or neither.

 

[Britt.f7]

It is probably good that you know. Though, I'm sure painful. I was 17 when I tried.

Last year it was all I could do not to do it, but my son's were my hope. They were 13 and 17 at the time. I remind myself of something I heard when I was thinking about it, that children of mothers(especially) who commit suicide are more then likely to do the same. Something else to think about when we are in those depths.

 

[Deleted member 10686]

"Other people have been through worse and THEY are okay/normal.."

 

[Ladyghosthunter]

(I have a George Carlin response to this that's really inappropriate for the number of mouths that turn on like a dripping faucet full of narcissism. )

My therapist, who I was seeing at 14, asked me every time I stepped into her office, "So, who did you sleep with this week?" I told "my Dad" this and he thought I was sexually promiscuous in which I wasn't. When I told him I no longer wanted to go see her, he was pissed off and wanted to rip my head off.