Dvr Sucks

[Deleted member 1860]

I think it is really hard to let go of that need for approval and to prove that you are good enough. I just realized that this is one of my biggest struggles now. Well, its been a big struggle the whole way, but now it seems to be in the forefront and getting much attention. I can see the impact it is having on many areas of my life. I am in mourning for the loss of the mother (and my mother's love) that I never really had. I am starting to examine how not getting this love/approval has affected the rest of my life, but it really is a mind f*ck that I don't think I'm strong enough to deal with in its entirety right now. So, I'm just taking it one step at a time. Right now I'm learning about how its totally messed up my personal relationships, and that is more than enough to deal with at this time. I'll get into other aspects later.

 

[Born to Run]

@Solara yes I know what you mean, but at a certain point in the process you will be strong enough to deal with this. Once you are strong enough it will not be really hard, because you are ready to face the illusion, which indeed is a mind f*ck big time. And it does not finish with this awareness, do you think I now know how it is to feel loved or loveable? Haha forget it. We all take the steps in the order as they present themselves to us, and that is the way to grow. You are doing just fine. My point was to just spread the thought that it is not fixable if only we, as children, had done better. Sadly the child parts still believe this.