chai
New Here
My family is SO DYSFUNCTIONAL that the only things that connect them are social norms and money. As a child, I woke up to the sound of an argument. My grandmother was overprotective of my mother, now my mother is an adult with child's brain. Another grandmother ran away from an abusive husband, and her son - my father - thinks that he is always right and everyone MUST obey him. Both my parents did not separate from their parents. My aunt lives near us, she has children whom she can barely support. Since childhood, I have heard about how bad everything is, and how someone wants to kill themselves ("I want to hang myself" from my aunt). My younger cousin is VERY PROBLEMATIC. He needs a specialist, but no one takes him to a doctor?? Everyone is too busy. I see myself in him. It was the same with me. Everyone said that I would outgrow it, but I did not. With age, I got worse.
My family members are 100% codependent. They argue loudly, insult each other, but can't live apart. I don't want to be like that, but for them, this is the norm, and they perceive my desire to separate as a betrayal. I want to move to another country - "nobody needs you there." Maybe that's the point? That I won't be tied to anyone, won't owe anyone, and no one will owe me? Just start from nothing.
They want me to be perfect in their f*cked up way. Their "perfection" is not only impossible, but also so f*cking stupid. Like, how do you come to terms with the fact that what you've been forced to believe since childhood is illogical, meaningless nonsense?
They want me to be normal - but told me that I've got no real friends when I was a kid. They wanted ne to be normal - but I had to got only perfect grades in school. They want me to be like everyone else, but didn't believe that in other families parents don't yell at their kids?? I don't understand.
My family members are 100% codependent. They argue loudly, insult each other, but can't live apart. I don't want to be like that, but for them, this is the norm, and they perceive my desire to separate as a betrayal. I want to move to another country - "nobody needs you there." Maybe that's the point? That I won't be tied to anyone, won't owe anyone, and no one will owe me? Just start from nothing.
They want me to be perfect in their f*cked up way. Their "perfection" is not only impossible, but also so f*cking stupid. Like, how do you come to terms with the fact that what you've been forced to believe since childhood is illogical, meaningless nonsense?
They want me to be normal - but told me that I've got no real friends when I was a kid. They wanted ne to be normal - but I had to got only perfect grades in school. They want me to be like everyone else, but didn't believe that in other families parents don't yell at their kids?? I don't understand.
