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Eating And Flasbacks

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sawtooth

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I'm not sure if this is in the right spot or even if what's happening is a flashback rather than more of a disgust for food because of what happened or anything getting near my mouth or seeing something that will remind me. I haven't eaten anything for days now because of this, which is nothing new. Sometimes a drink is ok, like a shake or smoothie, water, something like that- a liquid. I will throw up sometimes even then. Solid food is worse, sometimes when my mind is so far from what happened it wont go there and will be ok. But a majority of the time it will. It's there nagging, and laughing.

I don't know what to do, sometimes I think who cares, I'll just starve to death and that will solve everything, but that's not the way to go-would rather have it be quick than a long drawn out painful process. I don't know what to do anymore. I throw up all the time. Just thinking about it makes me throw up, let alone actually eating something. Ask for a g-tube? What kind of dr would do that unless necessary. He'll say get over it boy. I don't know what to do. Anyone else have trouble eating? And sorry, I don't say things well. I don't really know what I'm saying.
 
Hi Aro,

This sounds very painful. If you are able to share did you have trauma relating to food or your mouth? Or do you think this is more along the lines of that feeling of sickness we get when triggered? Or don't you know?
 
Hi Abstract. Yes, relating to food. Well I think the food would be fine if it didn't have an extra "ingredient". Or that "ingredient" being referred to food at all. I can't move on from this. I'm wanting to throw up now just writing this. I don't know. Well thanks for the reply.
 
Aro,
I am sorry to hear that. And sorry you are suffering so. Does your t know? It is really important for you to get nutrition in otherwise the emotional side deteriorates more. You might need to make work on that trauma a priority so that you can get some improvement.

Have you done grounding and affirmations now to try to settle?

I haven't experienced what you have but do/have had food issues. One thing that has helped is to do relaxation and grounding before and then to have almost a mantra where I repeat affirmations relating to it as I eat something and after. To seperate it from other stuff. Then more grounding. Then some type of distraction straight after. Please ignore if not helpful.

The first thing at the moment is to try to get out of the past. I hope it settles a bit.
 
At the moment I'm not seeing someone. I have in the past off and on. I'm not sure I know what grounding and affirmations are. One T told me about some distractions, like subtracting by 5's from 100, or if that's to easy by 3's. Or naming all the colors in a room. That doesn't seem to help much at all. I should try what you described. Thank you for the ideas. I managed to get something in yesterday. It's been very hard though lately. Big struggle and constantly hungry.

I'm trying to get out of the past. It never seems to work. I think seeing a T on a weekly basis might help though? Not sure. Thanks again for the suggestions.
 
*Hugs*

I had major issues around food when my PTSD was at its worst last summer. I couldn't even keep down water at one point & lost over 3 stone in a very short space of time (GP now weighs me every time he sees me = Grrrrrrr! ) I tried milk, which was better, as well as fruit juices, which are high in calories. I tried slim fast milk shakes in the hope of getting something in me, with varying success - it would take me more than an hour to drink 1 glass!!! Now my anxiety/flashbacks are more controlled due to a mix of meds and therapy, it's not so bad, but I am still sick at times. Dr put me on omeprazole, which lowers stomach acid & stopped the acid reflux, which has helped a lot, as well as cyclizine, when I was at my worst. It may be worth talking to your GP. xxx
 
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