Ect Therapy

[Hashi]

I know how to process.

Please remember that this is in the spirit of wanting to help. I'm not sure that you're talking about the same thing when you say processing, that other people might be. To me processing can't be done without skills, but you say you don't have these.

If you've talked about your memories in therapy, or done some sort of exposure work, without having skills to manage the effects of that, then it might have made things worse. This is something the therapist should have been monitoring, but sometimes for various reasons that doesn't happen as it should.

Maybe the difference in what we're talking about is that by processing you mean following a therapy process - going through the steps required. Like talking about what happened. Whereas I mean the internal healing process that follows that - the way the brain changes and the trauma becomes something that happened in the past and isn't tormenting us in the present any more.

It's clear that you've been showing up for therapy and putting the effort in. The thing is, it isn't only about doing that, but about doing it in a safe and effective way. Otherwise, however much you follow the steps, you won't feel better and the memories won't leave you alone.

So you'll be left feeling that nothing works, and in that sense you're right. My point is that with a safe and effective approach, things can work (even if they didn't before).

 

[greenleaf]

Re. learning the skills and not finding them helpful... I think I had that experience for a while, and the reason the skills didn't help had to do with that I was at a different stage in dealing with certain things than the folks who were helped by these various skills.

I'd suggest finding a therapist who you start to feel safer with, and focus on that safe feeling, for one thing. Perhaps you are approaching the skills mentally? Or... lots of us are capable of dealing consciously with things on one level, while another level uses our old skills to protect deeper levels - and we don't even know this is going on. These levels will show up when you feel safe enough and "you're ready", whatever the heck that involves... there is more involved but I'm not a therapist, so I'm only really giving you my impression of my own process.

I suspect that a lot of us doing this work are actually growing new neural pathways or something related, at a much more profound level than occurs with simply learning a new skill. The skills that you can learn quickly to ground, etc. are helpful to allow that growth occur, but the growth itself is ongoing over years, not months, for many folks. Although these deeper levels are "us", they're not exactly under conscious control in the same way as picking up a book and deciding to learn a new topic is. So, stay safe, be good to yourself and your future self... I'm very glad you're working on these things!

It's very much worth working on, I had no idea before working on this stuff, the richness I was missing with connection to other people, for instance.

 

[joeylittle]

That isn't what is bothering me. I appreciate honest but just the way people are saying it makes me feel like I'm not trying enough or that I'm impatient or crazy for wanting to try ECT, when it's just something I saw and was curious about. That's all.

Just wanted to say, I really hear how desperate you are. I spent a lot of time looking into ECT for my depression. I still may try it. But clinically, although the memory loss is inconsistent, what is fairly consistent is that you lose recent- and short-term much more than past and long-term. The older and stronger the memory, the more likely it will remain undisturbed. I wish it stood a chance at helping you, but honestly it probably doesn't.

You are clearly trying really, really hard - and you've been trying hard - and feel like you are at the absolute end of your rope. You mentioned being in college right now. Is there any way you can take some time off from that and maybe consider a residential program? Forgive me if you addressed this already - my short-term memory isn't great (but I did read the thread!)

Also, to give you something else to look at, if you are in the US or Canada - http://. You can search for any one of your diagnoses. Sometimes they are especially looking for people with combined issues. They are trials, meaning the treatments are new, and sometimes open up other possibilities.

I'm not saying you haven't been trying - I'm just sharing a resource that really helped me out when I was at the end of my rope.

 

[PandaBear12212]

@joeylittle Thank you for actually giving me resources instead of just saying I'm patient or just to try harder.

 

[joeylittle]

@PandaBear12212 , you are very welcome. We all try and hear each other, I think; the great thing about a forum is that there's always going to be someone who can hear where you are at when you are there. Most important: don't give up on you. Catch a breath and start looking around again for the help that fits. It's exhausting, I know - I'm sorry you are there right now.

 

[Lucycat]

I have seen many, multiple therapists who all tried at least 5 different tactics.

I've seen at least 10 therapists, all using more than a few techniques to try and none of it works.

Im tired of exeriencing this crap every day multiple times a day for four years now.

So. Ten therapists doing at least 5 therapies each. So that is at least 50 different approaches - over just 4 years. How can you possibly have given any one therapist or therapy a chance?
I also have been in therapy for 4 years. One therapist who uses 2 approaches. We do the same work consistently, and I see consistent improvement. Yes I still have memories, but very rare flashbacks, although occasional nightmares.

I'm busy paying for college and probably cant afford the therapist

How would you pay for the ECT - I'm guessing it is expensive as it involves a General Anaesthetic and therefore anaesthetist to be present throughout the procedure.

Im also looking at it because the brain can restart and normalize the chemical levels of the brain.

It has never been proven that there is a chemical imbalance with PTSD or CPTSD. The brain does not 'stop and start' it has a huge electrical surge and a convulsion. I have seen patients receiving ECT and it is not pleasant.

 

[Hashi]

for actually giving me resources instead of just saying I'm patient or just to try harder.

You are your own biggest resource. You can be given all the treatments and techniques in the world but then it's you that has to make them work - no-one else can do that. So when people here are talking about ways of approaching things, they are giving you a resource.

No-one is going to fix you. It isn't just what treatment you have, your own approach is equally important.

You seem very sensitive to the idea of being told you're impatient. At the same time, your answers in this thread seem rushed. I feel that you're going straight to a familiar groove - you've tried, nothing works, no-one's listening - more than being willing to engage with what people are saying or asking.

Who has said just try harder? Some people have said to try differently - that isn't a judgement of your effort. It's a suggestion that you try doing things differently, that's all.

 

[PandaBear12212]

We tried multiple coping techniques and therapies at the same time.

 

[Shilpa]

Hi,
I am not sure if you will read this but I am also in the same position as yours. I also got abused. And feel I have a raw deal. I also want some sort of intervention for all the bad memories to go away and get my life back. I have very little patience with therapies. Right from hypnotherapy to ECT, all I was looking was that silver lining that I might be able to forget everything bad that happened to me irrespective of the side effects. I just dont know what I want or when life will ever be the same again. But something has to happen

 

[Judy Hentges]

I wish to reply to @PandaBear12212. This is my first visit to this forum, and I don't know what is allowed and what is not.
It sounds like you are young and need to get rid of some horrific memories. I will tell you that ECT and therapists are not the answer to life struggles.
I had ECT forced on me in 1998 and it wiped out all of my life and relationships and ALL memories, talents and capabilities I have ever had.
If I could make one suggestion, and it's kind of a "religious" one. I don't know if you would be open to just doing one simple thing that changed me and life when I was 24 years old.
I was a single Mom, and one night just got on my knees before bed, for 10 minutes every night and started to pray, and just talked to Jesus like He was sitting right there on the bed next to me, like I would a friend.
Every night I did this and just told Him about my day. All I said was, "Jesus, I know you're real, and I know you love me. I don't know how to get to know you, but I would like to, so I will just tell you about my day."
For 10 minutes every night. Gradually but in a short 10 months, my life changed, - I changed - (found my faith, (Catholic was for me), and it really was a healing start for the past pain(s) in my own life.
There were many, abuse included.
Take care and God bless -
Judy
PS - the reasons for my ECT were beyond my control. They never had to be, in the first place. I did continue to pray, and my life did change, for the next 6 years. I was healthy, happy and headed towards marriage. I had built my own home in the country.
BUT - We didn't end up marrying, and six months later I had a nervous breakdown at work. One doctor led to another for recovery - all the WRONG ones, and eventually another WRONG head doctor decided I needed ECT. I had no say. Neither did my family. I really urge you to not try this. I hop you receive this post. My heart goes out to you.:)

 

[Rumors]

My therapist back home treated me with both EMDR and CBT but I again I've had no improvement, its...

Listen, I don't mean to sound harsh but if you can pay for/make time to have shock therapy you can pay for and invest the time in to more therapy. You may not mean it like this, but it sounds like you are looking for a quick fix to make it go away and that isnt likely. I don't mean to come across as harsh and I have a ton of empathy for where you are coming from but sometimes we need people to tell us what we need to hear not what we want to hear. You need to invest the time in to therapy. You could have this electroshock therapy and loose your mind. Then, where do you go from there? Where would that leave you in school? This isn't an answer.... I know it isn't easy and it is a longer term commitment. Sorry you feel so bad.

 

[digger]

Just a note to those members wishing to engage directly with the OP, this is an old thread and the OP hasn't been active on the site in three years.