General Edmr Treatment Starting... What Can I Expect?

[Angus McGee]

The day is coming in the next few weeks where my sufferer will be starting into her treatment. My knee-jerk response to this is "FINALLY!!" Because I know that in order to get her back to any sort of normalcy, and for us to resume our marriage, (she is currently living in her own apartment) this treatment has to take place. She has been suffering from PTSD for a long, long time, and has been dealing with the symptoms of it through medication. Last November, an event happened (not going to get into it here) that caused her to go into a much more acute form of the disorder. We've called it a "relapse", but I don't think that's quite accurate. Since I've known her, going on 22 years, she has never, ever been/acted/behaved/felt the way she is now. In talking to her, I don't think she ever was before we met either. So, yes. Selfishly, I'm glad that she is going through the treatment so she can come home. However, I'm also glad she is going through this for her sake too. Treating her PTSD is long, over due.

I've done some reading on the EDMR, and kinda know what to expect as her husband, but I'd like to hear it from those with a little more experience. I've made myself as available to her as I can throughout her "relapse", and she is yet to take advantage of that. I've told her that I love her, am praying for her, , etc.

I know that EDMR does not work for everyone. I know that she may never come home. I'm not looking for worst-case scenarios. What I need to hear is, in general terms, what will she be like as her treatment progresses. Will there be signs to look for as to whether or not it's working? How long into the treatment will those signs start to manifest? How long will she need to continue the EDMR?

Thanks,

AMcG

 

[ISupportHer]

My wife had some treatments but I didn't know at the time. From what I gather though, the whole idea was to try to bring back memories. It seems to have made things more painful. It just seems to me that if you bring the memories back but still can't deal with things, it adds to the issues. But then, the pain of partial memories is no picnic either.

Maybe I am not the one to respond. I did not see it coming, so I did not really research it. There has been a lot of discussion here though. More so in the sufferes area probably.

ISH

 

[Angus McGee]

Yeah, I've read through those, ISH. As painful as it is in so many ways for her to be on her own, I think that it's probably for the best through this time. It's very hard for me not to just wrap my arms around her, and comfort her. However, the best way for me to do that is to NOT do that.

:confused:

I think I've got my personalized license plate picked out.
IH8PTSD <- except, you're only allowed 6 letters in Oregon. H8PTSD

 

[amethist]

Hi Angus

While I have not had EMDR myself, being a supporter not a sufferer, I did support my husband through therapy, which did include EMDR.

It can with some sufferers set them back quite a bit more, as the memories of the trauma is brought forward and, to put it simply, hopefully teach the brain that these are only memories, not present time happenings.

There is a lot more to it than that, but EMDR does not work for every one and everyone is not necessarily open to EMDR.

As for the how long questions, this all depends on how your wife react's to therapy and any treatment, EMDR or any other type her therapist uses.

This can be a long slow process, as she may find it hard to talk to her therapist at first. Trust has to be built up before she may be able to open up fully.

There are a lot of, "It depends", because unfortunately that is how it is.

I hope she does well and it works out for both of you.

Amethist

 

[Angus McGee]

I understand, amethist.

Thank you.

 

[MurphyJB]

My sufferer is starting EMDR next month...crossing fingers it helps, even if just a little.

 

[Angus McGee]

You and me both, MurphyJB. You and me both.

 

[amethist]

I forgot to say what the main thing that EMDR helped my husband with.

He used to have terrible nightmares and flashback's. Waking up at night with them, shaking and sometimes crying too. These virtually stopped once he had his second EMDR session, he does have the odd one now and again, usually when highly stressed and anxious, but very few and far between.

 

[Angus McGee]

My wife doesn't have those so much... Her thing is she grinds her teeth in her sleep. Before the relapse, her symptoms were mostly anger flashes, and she had the startle reflex of a nervous cat. I'm sure there were others, but I just don't remember them now. Nowadays, it's much worse. Before she moved out (the king-daddy symptom), she would just sit in her bedroom. She stopped showing any kind of affection to me, and the affection she shows our 16 year old daughter seems almost forced. Needless to say, she never left the house except to go to work, and do the odd grocery run after work, when no one was in the store. (she got off work at 11:30p).

I honestly do not know what the EMDR will treat. I certainly have hopes, but I really don't know.

That's why I started this thread.

 

[Lucycat]

I started having EMDR about 18months ago. I have found it very helpful although VERY hard. Yes you do bring up the most horrid of memories, but you process them and can move on. They become 'just' memories without the power to overwhelm you.

After each session I am knackered, exhausted and need lots of sleep and time out. Also for that first night after each session I am continuing to process during sleep which can bring wierd dreams. I find it hard to go to work the next day, although carefully manage to do so.

As to how many sessions? That is an unknown quantity. My T firmly believes that there must be at least 7 days between sessions. Each session has a 'target memory' so it depends on how many memories there are to deal with. I thought I had finished with EMDR but my T has uncovered a whole new can of worms. He knows how much I hate the EMDR so has given me time to adjust that I have to go there again, but I will be starting a new 'course' in another 2 weeks. I don't want to do it. But I know I have to, and will feel better for it.

EMDR is no walk in the park. But it is very effective.

 

[Angus McGee]

Thanks, Lucycat. If you don't mind me asking, are you married & are you isolating during your treatment? Also, has it helped you at all? Does the treatment gradually help? Or is it just that one day, you wake up, and your PTSD symptoms are gone, or very minor? (Pardon my ignorance)

 

[amethist]

Hi Angus

I was wondering if you had read the following Wiki information page about EMDR.

[DLMURL]https://www.ptsdforum.org/c/wiki/eye-movement-desensitization-and-reprocessing/[/DLMURL]

This is the not the one stop cure to PTSD symptoms, it is just one way to help diminish some of the issues it causes. Therapy is just part of the healing process, being able to talk about what caused it in the first place, the rest is entirely up to the sufferer. Putting into practice all the methods of overcoming how PTSD effects a sufferers daily life, taught by a good therapist.

Healing from PTSD is a long slow hard road, with many bumps and bends to navigate along the way. Managing symptoms and learning how to live a better life, still with ups and downs, possible relapses too, in the following years.

Amethist