Emotionally Numbness And Feeling Blank All The Time.

[rich_93]

For a couple of months I've been feeling kinda off like something isn't right, I constantly have a feeling that my heart is always racing and it doesn't let up. I also notice that I'm very unaware of any emotions and detached from them I guess. I also notice that I'm never blinking only when I think to blink, I blink I don't know if this is due to the PTSD or something else, its been going on ever since I was about 14. Any advise on any of this will be very helpful

 

[LisawithPTSD]

that detachment and not blinking sounds like dissociation. are you seeing a therapist?[DOUBLEPOST=1399085543,1399085420][/DOUBLEPOST]I have those feelings too. you are not alone.

 

[rich_93]

Yea I see her once every two weeks. I don't know if its the meds or just a reaction but you could be right. I recently moved and in order to get a counselor or a therapist you have to be a resident of the county. That's why I'm gonna see my regular therapist for the time being. I'm also gonna see if they have therapy online that way I could get more help than what I'm receiving.

 

[open eyes]

It sounds like your emotions haven't connected with your past experiences yet. Sometimes when a trauma happens our brains segregate the experiences & the emotions that correspond. It can cause physical reactions to things, with no emotions or triggers that you're aware of. As for the blinking, it's not unusual for people to blink without even noticing. But it also could be tied into a feeling of hypervigilance.

 

[rich_93]

Im thinking that the reason why the emotions arent there is because I've been numb and terrified when I was being abused, I never escaped it because there was no where else to go and I felt that I couldn't defend myself when it was happening.

The last time it happened it was at a park, everytime it happened I always felt I couldn't get away. I was so scared of what he might have done if I tried to escape. It was also kept a secret for all those years and still kind of is, and my point of view is this. How can someone look all innocent when the person did something very bad to another person (sexual abuse).

I was also told by him if I ever told anyone something bad would happen to me which what made me scared the most because what would he do, how would he do it. I never told authority because I couldn't if he didn't confess than how would I get my closeness.

 

[Headtrama99]

I can relate. I am sorry you have to go through this. I am going through the same thing.

 

[rich_93]

Its an awful thing to go through especially when it was a family member. I just cant believe people would get the nerve to cause this amount of pressure and ruin their outlook on life.