End Of Psychologist Sessions

[helena]

I'm guessing that she triggers your abandonment issues... but, even someone without ptsd is likely to feel resentment/anger etc against the woman who slept with her husband (irrespective of whether they had separated or not) it is human nature.

I have never got the whole lets be friends with the ex.mistress scenario... not my scene!

I'm not entirely sure what happened in your childhood but your husband's short temper no doubt is triggering the fear you felt as a child... that you somehow couldn't do anything right, not good enough etc etc

As a carer, I can reassure you that we don't stay long term unless we totally and absolutely love and believe in you.

It is scary that therapy is ending but emotional issues can be talked through on this site so don't be alone with this. You actually sound a lot like my own significant other - he rarely feels anything but rage when sober (with other people at least) but he controls it better without alcohol.

When he drinks the emotions come pouring out - like a tap. I am trying to talk with him when he is sober to access those emotions but he generally finds it too much to deal with.

Maybe someone will come along with some better answers for you but I hope I have helped you a little.

It's a shame about the counselling issue but if the probation service is run by government/civil service there would still be employee counselling - you do a high risk job so I would think that they would be negligent in law not to provide it.

If you want I can find out for you - I wouldn't need to know which city or anything because (unless it is Scotland) it will be standard around the UK.

Let me know and I'll pm you with info/details

Helena

 

[Hen]

"I'm not entirely sure what happened in your childhood but your husband's short temper no doubt is triggering the fear you felt as a child... that you somehow couldn't do anything right, not good enough etc etc"


When he drinks the emotions come pouring out - like a tap. I am trying to talk with him when he is sober to access those emotions but he generally finds it too much to deal with.

It's a shame about the counselling issue but if the probation service is run by government/civil service there would still be employee counselling - you do a high risk job so I would think that they would be negligent in law not to provide it.

If you want I can find out for you - I wouldn't need to know which city or anything because (unless it is Scotland) it will be standard around the UK.

Let me know and I'll pm you with info/details

Helena[/QUOTE]"



His temper does trigger me but I have no idea how to move on with it, only having had 12 sessions with the psychologist was not enough time to work out all these things. It was childhood issues with me, emotional and physical abuse by my father and then when he remarried stepmother too, until I left home at 16, but he still had power and control until 2 years ago when I broke all contact (and a kidnap when I was a child which may or may not may added to it), my mother also decided she didn't want me at 6 months old so she left which has never helped. My father was also a domestic abuser and and alcohol dependant but as we were nicely 'middle class' no one ever did anything.

You said you try and talk to your partner when he is sober, my husband is not a talky emotional person, I have no one to try and talk to about how I feel and I don't know how to even try, I also have no idea what I feel yet. I have bougt some book and I am going to give one to hubs to read to try and open things up but it is back to how it was before therapy and totally solo again as has been most of my 38 years! Not a lot of help.

I looked at the leaflets we had on employee counselling and it is a telephone service. I tried it once before and they had no idea how to help and tried to refer me to a private service. Great for people who supervise 1:1 sex offenders, drug misusers, murderers, domestic abusers etc etc etc (sorry that sounds sarcastic but it isn't very good is it?). If you do find anything it would be great if you could let me know as i really do need more support as the 12 weeks has just opened the can of worms and then left me with a real old mess to try and sort on my own. She did give me many skills and it was better but it is getting worse again. I am UK, in Dorset.

Thanks:-)

 

[Nicky31]

Hi Hen

Yes I'm with Helena. If you can ask your employers for counselling if they are an LA they should have a scheme set up- that's how I got mine.

Alternatively have you thought about your local crisis team to see if they can provide some support. If you fear your symptoms are worsening or that they might do, it might be a good idea to see how they might be able to help- and this doesn't mean getting carted off to hospital. They are there to support people in the community.

I can understand how and why you might be feeling so scared and lost right now. Remember that the support from the forum is always there too.

Nicky :Hug_emoticon:

 

[helena]

Hi Hen,

Nicky may be able to help you more than me (I need to check with her 1st before posting on this site) but will pm you once I catch up with her.

I know how hard it is to try to get anything out of men who just clam up in respect of emotional issues - I always try but it is like getting blood out of a stone most of the time!

I hope by talking about these issues it will help you start recognising some of the emotions you had to repress.

Will come back to you as soon as I can with some more information

Helena

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