Just when I think my capacity to suffer peaks, a new high comes, making the previous level laughable.
The brain seems rather small. It does not seem to be able to contain so much. But I am experiencing this huge increase in my capacity to suffer, like a huge waterfall of terror will not stop pouring itself into my mind.
This symptom is an opening, an increased perception. I really cannot take much more.
My major goals are to out live the people who did this to me and to live long enough that a few of my family members who really love me would no longer miss me. That could be a number of years so I am not suicidal. In fact, I have precursers to an illness that may take me out before I would ever have the chance.
It just seems such a waste to have ever been here. Darn therapy.....things have gotten MUCH WORSE since starting, like a demon is attached to my T and following me around when I leave her office!!:(
I know I post a lot, but I am 100% alone and therapy is killing me. This is my only support day to day....................
The brain seems rather small. It does not seem to be able to contain so much. But I am experiencing this huge increase in my capacity to suffer, like a huge waterfall of terror will not stop pouring itself into my mind.
This symptom is an opening, an increased perception. I really cannot take much more.
My major goals are to out live the people who did this to me and to live long enough that a few of my family members who really love me would no longer miss me. That could be a number of years so I am not suicidal. In fact, I have precursers to an illness that may take me out before I would ever have the chance.
It just seems such a waste to have ever been here. Darn therapy.....things have gotten MUCH WORSE since starting, like a demon is attached to my T and following me around when I leave her office!!:(
I know I post a lot, but I am 100% alone and therapy is killing me. This is my only support day to day....................
