Sufferer Ex Had Internet Porn Addiction

[BloomInWinter]

MTGirl, was your ex into child pornography? Was there involvement of people you knew?

I've had that in my background and it sure was rough.

 

[SuzieQ]

I am so sorry you don't feel the support you were expecting from this forum. Please don't leave. One member who doesn't understand shouldn't chase you away. Dealing with an emotionally abusive husband who you obviously can't trust for 13 years is definitely traumatic, and probably causes you stress. You have a form of PTSD, especially since the doctor says so. We want your support as much as you wanted ours to begin with. Stay strong. :) Post again, and I'm sure you'll find some empathy.

 

[anthony]

You have a form of PTSD, especially since the doctor says so.

Assumptions are the mother of all f*ckups Suzie.

This forum is not for the emotionally traumatised who are being told they have PTSD for matters which don't fit PTSD. This is not your playground to invite everyone and anyone. This forum is for those with PTSD who fit PTSD / may have PTSD who fit PTSD based on their trauma, and supporters. Please don't overstep your boundaries of who this community if for.

I'm not here to give people a hard time. My role is to administer the community as a whole, which means ensuring people are here under the correct circumstances versus being told complete nonsense by some doctor or therapist who has chosen to widely interpret a diagnosis so they get repeat business by anyone who walks in their door. Hence, I've asked for clarification to understand instead of making assumptions. Empathy has nothing to do with administering the community.

 

[guest252]

I also was diagnosed with PTSD by my psychiatrist due to my ex husband's porn use. Having been through what I have and dealing for several years with the symptoms I have, I feel very sad that Mtgirl did not get support that she deserved. I have been part of a small therapy group with other women in my situation, so it is something you may want to become familiar with. There is shock, panic, nightmares, obsessive thoughts involved in this. Unless you've talked to others, and to a psychiatrist, about this, you may not understand, however, I would have hoped that those with PTSD might have at least tried to empathize. You may want to Google "Dr. Barbara Steffens" and "PTSD" and she has written about this. There are some links out there that educate on this but this site's requirements do not let me post them here.

 

[StarChild]

Well...a porn addict isn't the same as a sex addict.

And like BloomInWinter did, I would like to ask you if the porn he watched were such that included Children? Or did he force you to act in a porn movie?

 

[StarChild]

You may want to Google "Dr. Barbara Steffens" and "PTSD" and she has written about this.

Well I googled and read it carefully, and she didn't say, partners of sex addicts do have PTSD. - Amongst others, in fact she wrote: I want to be clear: I am not and cannot say they had PTSD but can say their symptoms were the same as those who can be diagnosed as PTSD. (Barbara Steffens, Excerpt of "Porn addict Hubby")

 

[anthony]

I also was diagnosed with PTSD by my psychiatrist due to my ex husband's porn use.

Total nonsense. What part of your husband watching porn affected you that meets PTSD criterion A (DSM V Latest Criteria):

[DLMURL]https://www.myptsd.com/c/wiki/posttraumatic-stress-disorder/#diagnostic-criteria-for-309-81-f43-10-posttraumatic-stress-disorder[/DLMURL]

A. Exposure to actual or threatened death, serious injury, or sexual violence in one (or more) of the following ways:

1. Directly experiencing the traumatic event(s),
2. Witnessing, in person, the event(s) as it occurred to others,
3. Learning that the traumatic event(s) occurred to a close family member or close friend. In cases of actual or threatened death of a family member or friend, the event(s) must have been violent and accidental.
4. Experiencing repeated or extreme exposure to aversive details of the traumatic event(s) (e.g., first responders collecting human remains; police officers repeatedly exposed to details of child abuse).

Partner of porn addicted spouse does not meet "sexual violence" by any definition.

There "must" be something you've said to your therapist and not said here, such as you've experienced sexual assault, nearly died as a direct result of his porn addiction, or had your life threatened. And if any of those three occurred, then you weren't diagnosed because your spouse was a porn addict, you would be diagnosed for the event that meets criterion A above.

Enduring trauma does not equate to PTSD, it equates to normal symptoms from something you find traumatic, which is an [DLMURL="http://www.myadjustmentdisorder.com"]adjustment disorder[/DLMURL] or other, which our network is just opening a forum for all trauma types where diagnosis is not the focus.

Get a second opinion, because your psychiatrist is pulling your leg and robbing you blind for something they cannot even legally diagnose you with, because no psychiatrist could justify meeting criterion A for a partner of a porn addict without sexual violence or life threatening actions.

 

[The Albatross]

Um, Sweet Lullaby I haven't posted on this thread. But agreed with Anthony on March 3rd and again with both you and he today.

 

[StarChild]

I haven't posted on this thread.

Hi Albatross, I'm sorry, today my brain does quite weird things. :depressed: Obviously, I confused your name with Bloom, who wrote the answer. I'm going to correct it.

 

[anthony]

Stuff I read here at times... people are either full of crap and have self-diagnosed, are trolling, or their therapist / psychiatrist should lose their license to practice, because they're doing unethical stuff.

 

[Hashi]

it is something you may want to become familiar with. There is shock, panic, nightmares, obsessive thoughts involved in this. Unless you've talked to others, and to a psychiatrist, about this, you may not understand, however, I would have hoped that those with PTSD might have at least tried to empathize.

What you're saying seems to tie in to the part Sweet Lullaby quoted, that you might have some symptoms that are like PTSD symptoms. That doesn't mean you have PTSD.

I can only echo what Anthony says, and invite you to relate this to the DSM criteria for PTSD. Presumably your psychiatrist can do this and you have talked with them about it?

As someone with PTSD myself, it's hard to accept what you have written. I think it's necessary to make a distinction between shock and distress, and PTSD. It's particularly hard for me to read that I may "want to become familiar with" the things you're talking about. I'm familiar with the criteria for PTSD diagnosis already. This doesn't seem to fit them.

I don't understand, not because I haven't talked to a psychiatrist and others over this, but because I haven't heard how it fits the criteria for a PTSD diagnosis. If you would like to explain how it does, then please do.

 

[Jeanie]

I will not be posting here again, and am surprised at this site. I have a diagnosis from two doctors, psychologists, for PTSD. I was just looking for someone who has had similar experiences such as disasociation, severe panic attacks, etc not a debate. I will look elsewhere.

I totally get where you are coming from. I too am diagnosed with PTSD, due to my husband's porn addiction. I have been struggling with this for 6 yrs. now. I see that people are looking at a certain set of criteria to be diagnosed with PTSD, & we don't fit the usual criteria, meaning we were not affected with PTSD because of the most well known causes. It is just coming to light in the past few years that a husband's porn addiction can induce PTSD in his long suffering wife. Her symptoms is how the PTSD is diagnosed, not what the usual causes of PTSD are. She has emotional outbursts, mood swings, hypervigilant, paranoid, flash backs of very painful circumstances, trauma, shock, and so many more symptoms....too numerous to mention. Many women have ALL the symptoms of PTSD, & it is extremely difficult to heal from it. Men who were in wars & later develop PTSD, sometimes feel like they're being bombarded with stimuli that induces painful situations. And sadly, women whose husbands use porn, especially when it goes on for yrs, feel the same. They feel cheated on, rejected, deceived, lied to, betrayed, tricked, fooled, etc. Their self esteem hits rock bottom. They feel unloved, unwanted, undesired, etc. They feel like a big fat NOTHING in the eyes of their husband. The only way I can describe is this. I loved my father dearly & when he passed away, I was devastated. This is 100 times worse. I feel as though my entire family is murdered ever day. That is how a woman with PTSD from a husband's porn addiction feels. Don't underplay it to the women who are suffering from it. We are standing at the edge of a cliff & we want someone to help us or we fear we may jump. That is how this form of suffering feels.