Internet Porn Sites / Is It Cheating?

[Abulod]

This is a question with no "right answer". Some people are against porn and they negotiate that within the boundaries of their relationship, looking at porn is a problem. Maybe not "cheating" but something they don't want to happen. Other people (like me) say, "Make sure your porn is ethically sourced and have fun." I know a lot of pornographers and I *know* that many people in porn do it from an empowered, having fun sort of perspective. I have no hangups around supporting their work/art.

So if you don't like it, then it is time to start negotiating. What part of it bothers you? Is it that he is looking at pictures of someone else? I had one partner who took hundreds of pictures of me because he wanted to look at porn and masturbate and he said I was the hottest chick around. (Too bad he didn't want kids--oh well.) That is one possible solution. Other people say masturbation isn't ok--I personally think that isn't a healthy boundary but I don't get to decide how other people run their relationships. If both parties agree to it, anything is ok.

If your problem was him hiding it... how would you like him to bring it up in the future? Lots of different points of view to consider.

Good luck. You don't have to be ok with porn. You get to have limits and make requests. Your partner also gets to say, "My sex life *with myself* is no one else's business and you don't get to control it." I think. In my little corner of the world. :)

 

[Itodo]

No, I wouldn't call it cheating. Masturbation is just masturbation... everyone does it, anyone who says they don't / haven't is a liar.

 

[Odob]

Porn is a makes weakness. If he was molested it exasperates the issue. More addictive than any drug. It literally screws up the male psyche. Do not take it personal. It is not personal. It becomes like a drug ie crack. He needs a supportive, strong, mature woman to help him through it. Many many many issues regarding porn. I wish I could say more but I would post 100 pages....