Excessive Emotional Fragility?

[Privateer]

I'm not sure this is worth a whole new thread, but I don't want to hijack anyone else's with my nonsense.

Basically, I'm on watch today (that is to say, I'm on duty in the ops room) and our colleagues at a neighbouring station have had a rather unpleasant incident to deal with that has resulted in multiple fatalities, mostly children.

I'm sitting here listening to the radio traffic between shore stations and SAR assets on scene and I'm starting to get really quite stressed, to the point that my legs are starting to twitch and the muscles in my back are aching. I want to cry. I can feel my eyes burning.

The thing is, I'm not directly involved in this incident at all. I have no right to start wigging out about it. It's not my experience, if you see what I mean?

Ugh. I feel like my mind is so brittle just now and I don't what to do.

Sorry for that. Just needed to vent.

 

[Philippa]

Don't be sorry. Venting is a good thing I think. I'm sure we've all had the same experience at one time or another. I definitely have. I think when we are feeling fragile it can be harder to not let in stuff that we ordinarily wouldn't, so try not to be too hard on yourself for it.

That line never really works for me, but it might help with you...?:D

 

[p-no]

I have no right to start wigging out about it.

Yes, you do.

It's not my experience, if you see what I mean?

You're a living, breathing human being and are effected by people, children, dying. It is your experience as well.

It's terrible and sad what you're witnessing, may as well do a bit of crying.

 

[Privateer]

I just can't seem to have any contact with a SAR job just now without freaking out. It's really hard. What's weird is that part of the stress is a kind of desperate frustration that I can't just run straight out there and get these people myself.

I'm frightened I might have to leave my job.

 

[p-no]

I just can't seem to have any contact with a SAR job just now without freaking out. It's really hard.

Do you have help for yourself? Not this minute, but generally speaking? What does "just now" mean, for how long have you been freaking out in situations like this one?

What's weird is that part of the stress is a kind of desperate frustration that I can't just run straight out there and get these people myself.

I can relate to this very much. Maybe you can try to focus on there being help for them. It's not you, but it's someone. (((comforting hug)))

 

[Privateer]

Thanks. We managed to rescue somebody this morning in an unrelated incident, so that's something good to focus on.

It's been maybe a month and a half, two months since I started having problems.

I got really angry and nearly burst into tears earlier when the press phoned and asked if we 'had any photos' of the incident. I'm going to have to be more careful.

 

[p-no]

Thanks. We managed to rescue somebody this morning in an unrelated incident, so that's something good to focus on.

That is something wonderful to focus on! Great!

It's been maybe a month and a half, two months since I started having problems.

It's a good thing you have noticed this and can pinpoint it. It gives you the chance to counteract early-on. If you do not have any professional help, maybe look into finding it, in real life, and like now. Often you have to wait a while for things (therapy, counselling, etc.) to start, so it's good to look for it as early as possible to get things going.

From my own experience: You can do without professional help for some time, but sooner or later may not be able to go on without professional help. It might (!) be true for you (too?) that the longer you wait, the deeper you will fall. And it's always harder to get out of a pit the deeper it is (oh, gee, I hope this makes some sense in English; sorry, if it doesn't, my excuse is that I'm German).

Best wishes.

 

[Privateer]

Ihr Englisch ist viel besser als mein Deutsch! ;)

(Yay! English idioms translated willy-nilly!)

I think you're right. I still have a chance to stop it setting in more permanently, maybe? I really, really hope so.

I have an appointment with a therapist arranged for next month. Fingers crossed!

 

[p-no]

:D Na, dein Deutsch scheint ja auch gar nicht schlecht zu sein!

That's what I meant! Wish I could express what I really mean better than I do (even in German :eek:).

Excellent, that appointment! Ich drück' den Daumen! (= Fingers crossed!)