Excruciating psychological pain daily, but not all day?

[Placebo]

I was tortured like so many on here. Mine was all psychological well most of it psychological. I find my serious flashbacks happen often where I cry as my mom puts it "I have never heard someone cry with so much despair and torment." it used to make her cry to hear me because it hurt me so bad.

Anyway, over the past 20 years I have built up my tolerance to pain and I can hide it now as to apposed to when I was 17-40. I have had complete psychosis due to pain and flash backs but I understand that scientific fact does state that pain and ptsd can cause psychosis. It has only happened 3 times in my life though.

That was a background.... question: does anyone else on a daily basis feel pain so excruciating psychologically it physically hurts badly in their chest and back of their chest along with stomach and hurts their nervous system as if these parts of their body feel like electricity is being pumped into them?

I don't cry anymore in fact I can be in a work meeting in excruciating pain and no one knows. It does catch up with me often and I can't do much sometimes. I can only lay in bed and breath.
Working it started to catch up with me, and I hide in the bathroom that is a large private one toilet room, and lay down for like 7-10 min on my break. People must think I poop for long periods of time at work but I don't care as it hurts so badly I have to lay down and just breath and let my body/mind reset.

I am rambling because of the pain I just finished kind of ended like half way through this post. Anyone deal with this? Any advise? Any type of therapy or tricks to make it better?

Marijuana at night has helped and because of it I can listen to music again with out flipping out and shaking in pain waiting to be insulted and hated by the artist (long story not important), but during the day it is important for me to be sober, so day smoking is not an option. I don't like this pain and it makes part of the day unbearable and stops me from doing more and I need to do more right now....... I just don't know what to do about this part of getting better.

I will find a way. I found a way to not hear voices torturing me after abuse caused me to hallucinate for over a decade, and it has been tested because they re-traumatized me brutally for their sadistic enjoyment and laughs (very sick people exist everywhere and hide who they really are) and while I went into a psychosis for a while I did not hear voices so I think that level of dissociation is over. It changed though to being excruciatingly physcially and emotionally painful though. How do I make this better? What can I do? I have to find a solution because living everyday of your life with some excruciating pain taking an hour or two away from you daily is difficult to live through. It stops me for being in a relationship with a man who loves me someday, and this pain stops me from doing so much I would like to do it stops me from enjoying life honestly.

After they hurt me again right before the election in 2015/2016 the excruciating psycho-physical pain started and it's really bad like really bad. I can't take it sometimes but I have no choice if I am to live then I have to live with it until I find someway to make the pain stop. Hope is the biggest lie I ever had growing up, the hope that someday it would be better and I would be an adult safe, but they made sure it only got worse right before I turned 18 and did have legal power over my life because old men like raping young girls. Please tell me some type of therapy or something helps..... Anyone? My rambling like this is a sign of that pain I can't talk about it but I can type about it for some reason.... Help....

 

[Ronin]

Were you ever on any medication to address this?

Both antipsychotics & pain management?

 

[Friday]

psychologically it physically hurts badly in their chest and back of their chest along with stomach and hurts their nervous system as if these parts of their body feel like electricity is being pumped into them?

That’s pretty normal with both PTSD & Anxiety. Also cardiac problems, which is one reason people with anxiety are recommended to get more regular cardiopulmonary check ups than most people, and -conversely- why so many people going to the ER with chest pain (thinking heart attack) are told it’s just anxiety and referred to a therapist.

If it’s only lasting 7-10 minutes? That’s actually pretty damn decent. As far as getting an anxiety attack under control. So you’re probably already using quite a few skills to back it down... but, yes. A good therapist can work with you to get back under control even faster, as well as to limit the frequency.

 

[hithere]

Hi. first I apologize I did not read the entire post. I tried, but my attention span is not too keen right now. However, I want to say yes that I can relate to your post, except I have not had psychosis before. Lots of intense flashbacks, and many emotional flashbacks. Intense suffering emotional pain that manifests as you describe.

I can only take the time to cry and to rest every day and when it hits sometimes it is not in a convenient time. But I have to stop and kind of hide to cry and to rest. Otherwise, I do all the self care stuff that works for me. Also, I exercise, I do things I like to do. I work on affirming myself and loving myself. That works the best for me.

My biggest jags of suffering is the constant, "why do these people hate me so much/what did I do" -- there are no answers to this question, but it doesn't stop "it" from wailing away at will. I acknowledge it, I rest, I cry. Then I get up, dust myself off, and choose to be happy.

 

[Placebo]

Hi. first I apologize I did not read the entire post. I tried, but my attention span is not too keen right now. However, I want to say yes that I can relate to your post, except I have not had psychosis before. Lots of intense flashbacks, and many emotional flashbacks. Intense suffering emotional pain that manifests as you describe.

I can only take the time to cry and to rest every day and when it hits sometimes it is not in a convenient time. But I have to stop and kind of hide to cry and to rest. Otherwise, I do all the self care stuff that works for me. Also, I exercise, I do things I like to do. I work on affirming myself and loving myself. That works the best for me.

My biggest jags of suffering is the constant, "why do these people hate me so much/what did I do" -- there are no answers to this question, but it doesn't stop "it" from wailing away at will. I acknowledge it, I rest, I cry. Then I get up, dust myself off, and choose to be happy.

Wow I understand. The first decade after they started I cried and asked myself why they hated me so much from 10 years old on... why people I never met wanted to sexually abuse me after they saw what sexual abuse had done to me. I can't tell you why we are hated, but at 38 4 years ago they tried really hard to push me into suicide. I hope you are not getting stalked like I did. Thank you for understanding, and being kind.

That’s pretty normal with both PTSD & Anxiety. Also cardiac problems, which is one reason people with anxiety are recommended to get more regular cardiopulmonary check ups than most people, and -conversely- why so many people going to the ER with chest pain (thinking heart attack) are told it’s just anxiety and referred to a therapist.

If it’s only lasting 7-10 minutes? That’s actually pretty damn decent. As far as getting an anxiety attack under control. So you’re probably already using quite a few skills to back it down... but, yes. A good therapist can work with you to get back under control even faster, as well as to limit the frequency.

It last longer than 7-10 minutes but if I lay down for 7-10 minutes I can hide it from my co-workers. If I couldn't do that I would have to lie like I did last month when I told my work "My uncle killed himself" I had no choice I was on the phone with Rape counseling services for two days straight sobbing and then I also went in to get help, but that week was a bad one as Epstein was all over the news and I was getting triggered to no end. It didn't get better until I started smoking pot at night which helps me be calm the next day too a bit. Thank you I am trying to get into Rape Counseling Services as they are specialist on sexual abuse. I was in therapy for 10 years and quit hearing voices through that no medication. I hope therapy helps the physical pain. It is new that it physically hurts this bad it has been bad physical pain after they came in and re-traumatized me while I was having PTSD flash backs maybe to make sure I hurt forever. I don't know why they always chose sexual humiliation, degradation, oppression, and pain to torture me with, but they dId. I am too old for them now as they like young girls thank God. I thank god my wrinkles show and I am old. It is a huge part of why they stopped.

 

[Placebo]

Were you ever on any medication to address this?

Both antipsychotics & pain management?

I am on pristiq an antidepressant anti anxiety, and lamictal so I don't get supper depressed. I was on an antipsyhotic but they make my periods stop and my hair fall out, so I can't take them. I did a genetics test and I am not good with any of the antipsychotics on the market. The one that I would get fewest side effects to is the one that made me sleep over 13 hours a day stop my period and made my hair fall out. It sucks that I can't take an antipsychotic because when I was on the one even on the lowest dose I was a zombie which is a nice alternative to the pain.